The Stages of Drowning Thyself
by sei-hikaru
Summary: Kaoru engages in a one night stand with a stranger named Enishi after a devastating divorce from Kenshin. Their one night might be the start of something much more if fate should have it.
1. Drowning Attempts

The Stages of Drowning Thyself

Notes: Kaoru is not herself in these first few chapters- she's depressed and drunk and slightly off her hinges. And she meets Enishi in this state. Why she's depressed and driven herself drunk? Well...that's for later. Hopefully those who read this first part enjoys it. Mumblings of a sleepy ExK fan...

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin...sighs ...or Enishi...slumps...Only the story is mine. 

Part 1: Drowning Attempts

---

Her vision was now slightly clouded. The bar had been reduced to rapidly moving lights, people were colorful blurs that passed her by too quickly. Her fingers touched the small glass in her hand tentatively, her eyes taking in the little amount of liquid it contained. She hiccupped. A slow smile, somewhat hurt in nature, appeared on her exhausted face. She was close to her goal of becoming insanely drunk.

Now, for the second part of her plan to absolutely ruin herself…

Kamiya Kaoru turned slightly, trying not to move too quickly or abruptly- her head felt as if the bronze liquid was now inside her empty head, slushing around, undeniably rendering her slightly paralyzed. She squinted her eyes, attempting to focus on a single human being. A male human being. One by one images popped up suddenly, the headache she had been feeling was now growing steadily as she continued to survey the small bar.

Aquamarine.

She stopped and focused to the color's point of origin. Aquamarine eyes, that's where the color had come from. Kaoru closed her eyes and opened them again, she tried to take in the full image of the man with the eyes, noticing the blaring color of his jagged white hair. She wondered if she was staring too openly, he seemed to have noticed her presence. His eyes caught hers and she felt the effects of alcohol momentarily still.

'My god...,' she choked back inwardly, 'He's danger personified...'

Kaoru couldn't be sure if the strange, terrifying sensation of his stare was the result of her inebriated state or if he was truly dangerous in nature.

Nursing the glass in her hands, she finished the drink in one gluttonous gulp.

'Hell, I came here to make sure I'd drown myself in absolute horror,' she thought miserably, 'He looks like he can complete the night...'

Setting the glass down with a loud 'thunk' that she didn't notice, Kaoru stood up, the floor swaying under her considerably. Concentrating on just placing one foot in front of the other, she barely managed a decent walk to the man that could seal her sorry fate.

Kaoru stood in front of him, propping one hand on the counter for support. Another hand unconsciously ran itself through her hair- she wondered briefly if she looked as much of a mess as how she felt inside. The man, so far, was only watching her with impassivity. It seemed as if though he had had this kind of encounter all the time.

"Hello." She spoke, articulating that single word the best she could.

"Hello." He replied.

'So he speaks.' Kaoru marvelled at his deep voice, plunging on before she could think herself out of her next words.

"Do you find me attractive?" Kaoru felt as if though another person had taken over, all those drinks had finally given her a false sense of security.

A slight twitch in his lips, and something that came close to a smirk appeared.

"Yes."

She considered his one-word answers and continued,

"Enough to bring me home with you?"

Now, definitely a smirk. There was an acute aura of wickedness emitting from him.

"Yes."

"Bring me home, right now?" She ventured forth, leaning slightly forward unconsciously.

'Seriously? What am I getting myself into?' A coherent, panicked thought ran fleetingly through her mind.

He stood up, towering over her. It was then her foggy vision made out the glint of his glasses that was perched on his sharp nose. A hand came to her back, steadying her.

"Come."

Kaoru didn't have to think, she merely followed soundlessly as he walked her out of the run-down bar and into the biting cold of the night. She gasped as the cold bit into her and she watched as puffs of her own breath formed in front of her. Somewhere between then and sometime later when a car had pulled up in front of them, her coat had been placed on her shoulders and she was helped into warm leather seats.

She closed her eyes, feeling the length of the stranger seat himself next to her.

Kaoru was not one to pick up strangers in a bar for a good romp for the night. Actually, she would normally not need to pick up strangers since she had once been married to a wonderful man named Himura Kenshin, who was undoubtedly amazing in bed. However, as he had now broken her heart and their marriage, she was now ready to drown out all her sorrows into one night. Kaoru shook her head at the dejected thought of Kenshin. If she continued thinking about him, it would make all her drinking efforts useless.

"Rough day?" Kaoru heard the man speak to her.

Opening an eye, she could have sworn that the devil himself was smiling down at her. The need to not push herself to suicide came over her. Kaoru felt panic rise into her consciousness and took hold of her voice.

"There are a few rules."She hoped she had some semblance of firmness in her voice.

"Rules?" An eyebrow quirked up, amusement tinged his eyes.

"Or not I'm not going through with this."Kaoru felt like smacking herself, this part of the conversation should have taken place earlier! Thus, she felt the first downside of alcohol.

She wondered if she had already sunken too deep to go back.

A smirk appeared on his lips again.

"Then by all means, explain."

"Sex." Kaoru felt the word taste strangely in her mouth. "Sex and that's it. Straightforward, numbing, mind-blowing sex. That's all. I'll be gone in the morning, nothing comes out of this meeting except sex."

If she hadn't been in such a state, she would have noticed the momentary surprise that flashed through his face before his usual sardonic look came back on.

"That can be arranged." His smirk took on an evil edge.

She shivered, unsure whether it was because she was still chilly or if it was the man himself. She braced herself, taking a deep breath before nodding her head.

"Alright then," She nodded again. "I'm Kaoru."

He looked amused.

"I thought that this was a strictly sex-related meeting."

She glared at him.

"I'm going to need your name for later...unless you want me to scream someone else's name instead."

He paused and considered her with wry amusement etched on his face.

"Enishi."

* * *

Enishi watched as Kaoru nodded and turned towards the window again, closing her eyes. He had thought that fortune must have slept early tonight as that would have been the only reason she could have abandoned Kamiya Kaoru on such a night with him. He had thought himself lucky that she was alone and utterly vulnerable in that bar. But he knew his sister must have sent him blessings from Heaven when Kaoru had looked up and sauntered to him, drunk and desperate. 

Revenge had come dawdling to his side, all wrapped up with a silver bow on top.

His thoughts turned malicious as he continued to watch Kaoru.

'And it will be a delicious slice of revenge.'

TBC...

* * *

Part 2: Into the Water 


	2. Into the Water

The Stages of Drowning Thyself

Notes/.../ denotes flashback. This part is a cut-down version of an intended lemon-y chapter. The full chapter can be found in MediaMiner

Part 2: Into the Water

She stared up at the posh looking building, slightly apprehensive. Enishi's hand settled on her back and gently, but firmly led her into the building. She barely registered the beautiful chandeliers adorning the lobby's ceiling, or its exquisite collection of art hanging on the walls. All she could feel was the pounding of her heart and how it bellowed in her ears.

'He's obviously more well-to-do than I'll ever be in a million lifetimes...,' Kaoru felt the thought go through her mind.

She didn't realize they had already gone up on the elevator and had arrived on a certain floor. Kaoru blinked, slightly fazed at not remembering the trip up at all. She took a look at the floor number – 16, and gingerly stepped out onto plush blood red carpets.

Enishi's hand left her back and she saw him move in front of her, walking towards a polished black door. He seemed to have found his keys and had opened the door, turning to gesture her inside.

Kaoru took a deep breath and concentrated on walking through the door.

Enishi watched as she moved past him, her eyes glazed, not seeming to fully comprehend the situation they were in. He closed the door and locked it, taking his time with his usual routines. He placed his keys in the drawer next to the door, placing his coat on a stand, loosening the top button of his shirt before finally feeling comfortable enough to settle on watching Kamiya Kaoru inside his home.

She wasn't moving. She was standing in the middle of his living room, her back towards him.

Enishi wondered if she was capable of thinking properly at that moment.

/"I love you," he whispered softly as he cradled her in his arms. "I love you, Kaoru-dono."

She smiled and pretended to huff at the name.

"Mou, Kenshin..., you promised..."

"Gomen ne, anata," he chuckled, holding her closer, "Habits are hard to break."

He paused and looked into her eyes. She stared up, content to gaze into his tender violet eyes.

"Kaoru."He tested her name on his lips, then smiled as he kissed her. "I love you, Kaoru."

"I love you too, Kenshin," she murmured as she returned the kiss./

Kaoru shook her head.

'Stupid happy memories...,' she felt mad at her mind, which was intent on making her miserable, 'Go away happy memories...'

She felt fingers slide through her own, turning her to face the handsome owner of the luxurious home. Her knees felt weak as he fixed her with a stare that was so unlike Kenshin's.

"Don't think of him." His voice was low and quiet, but she understood the command in his tone. "Think only of me."

And with that, she felt his lips cover hers in a passionate kiss. She moaned at his aggression, her hand sliding up onto his arm, gripping his shirt sleeve. She emptied her mind and poured herself into returning the kiss.

/"I'm sorry, anata," he looked at her with guilty eyes. "I am so sorry..."/

She tensed in this stranger's arms –Enishi's arms - and felt his arms tighten its grip on her. He broke away from the kiss, looking down at her with blue fire in his eyes.

"Don't think Kaoru," his breath warmed her lips, "Don't think."

He devoured her lips once again, pushing his body against her, molding her soft curves onto him, his hands not allowing her to break free.

She kissed him eagerly, wanting to follow his command. She reached up to run her fingers through his hair, then held his face as she shivered when his tongue touched her lips. Her mouth opened to receive him, tangling her tongue with his own. Kaoru closed her eyes, feverishly shutting out Kenshin's guilty eyes from her mind.

His hands lifted her onto him, Kaoru wrapped her legs around his body instinctively as her back was slammed into a wall. She pulled back from the kiss and gasped.

"You're. Still. Thinking." He pronounced his words with a narrowing of his eyes.

"I'm trying..." Kaoru gasped as she felt his hardness push against her, "...not to."

"Try harder." He bit back as he swooped down to further ravage her lips.

Delicious shivers were running havoc through her body as she held onto him tightly, pushing against Enishi's form, trying to find a way out of her sudden feeling of urgency.

He grunted something unintelligible and licked her lips before drawing away. His hands reached under her shirt, warming her cold skin. Kaoru's eyes fluttered open briefly before closing them with a moan as he turned his kisses to her neck. As he licked and nipped at the long stretch of skin, his hands teased their way to unclasp her bra.

"Enishi...," she breathed in his name as she felt his hands trace her breasts, holding them in his hands. "Enishi..."

"Raise your hands." He murmured quickly as his hands temporarily left her skin.

Obeying him without a second thought, she felt him pull of her shirt and bra before a silence ensued. Several moments passed before she opened her eyes, wondering why he wasn't continuing with his ministrations.

"Enishi...?"

She didn't bother to finish whatever thought she had had before as she saw him looking at her with feral intensity. She felt another shiver come over her, goosebumps appearing on her bare skin as she realized she was also blushing from his gaze.

"Not here." He said roughly, scooping her up and into his arms.

Kaoru held onto him as he carried her purposefully into his bedroom, setting her down on the floor as he went to switch on the lights. Her arms automatically tried to cover herself, a foreign feeling coming over her.

/"You're such a bastard." Salty tears ran down her face as she looked away from him.

She could almost see his guilty face.

"I really am sorry, Kaoru. But I can't be with you anymore."/

"I don't think I can ever leave you alone." Enishi had suddenly appeared before her. "You'll start your thinking again."

Enishi closed the distance between them swiftly, his arms winding around her nude torso, warming her skin once more. She accepted him willingly into her arms, drawing into his heat, her head tilting back to receive his demanding kiss. Her lips felt bruised as she matched his raw passion.

He was first to break away, his slow, controlled breathing a distinct difference to her sharp, ragged gasps for air. There was a searching look in his eyes, as if though prying into her clouded mind. Kaoru held her breath – if there was anyone who could read her so openly, it would be this stranger.

Enishi's face looked grim as he held her hand gently, eyes still on hers as he backed towards a wide one-seat couch. She felt almost guilty at her inability to just lose herself to the sensuality this man was pouring upon her. Kaoru stood over him, watching as he plopped down onto the seat, his eyes dropping to her stomach. She daren't breathe as he skimmed his fingers over the waist of her skirt.

"I feel like I should apologize...," Kaoru gasped, her hands clutching onto his shoulders as she felt him pull down her skirt in one move.

His fingers traced the outlines of her white cotton panties, there was a brief tug on his lips before looking up into her eyes questioningly.

"I...," her breath was hitched again as she stared into his eyes, realizing he was starting to remove her last piece of clothing. "I've never...," she tried to maintain a steady calm as she continued to stare into his endless blue eyes. "...never done this...before..."

His lips quirked up into another smirk as he finished pushing down her panties to her ankles. Kaoru gingerly stepped out of the pool of clothing at her feet, her nude form inches away from Enishi's face.

"I somehow deduced that by myself." Came the sarcastic reply.

Kaoru bit down a mix of emotions – fury, temper, shame, embarrassment – and held on tighter to his shoulders. He had turned his attentions back to her skin, trailing kisses along her hip bone. Occasionally he nipped at her skin, his teeth creating sharp sensations between her legs.

"It's awkward." She continued, her voice wavering slightly as his lips travelled closer to her center. She took in a deep breath, "I've only been with only one other man in my life...been kissed by only him..."

Her words were stopped abruptly when Enishi pulled her down unexpectedly so that she was kneeling in front of him. His hands held her face, the smirk still ever-present on his lips as he pressed a kiss on her own.

"You're breaking your own rules, my dear," he whispered against her mouth, eyes piercing hers, "I've been waiting for the sex part of our meeting to begin since forever."

Kaoru realized that those were the longest string of words she had heard from him so far. She narrowed her brows, determined to physically stop thinking.

Enishi realized there was a dramatic change in her aura as she leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his lips. Chuckling at her feeble attempt for a kiss, he held onto her and bruised her lips trying to open them with his tongue. She moaned and briefly allowed entry, swirling him inside her mouth before breaking the kiss, leaning away from him. He felt himself protest with a grumble at the back of his throat before the sensation of her hand on his thigh grabbed his attention.

His gaze snapped back to her eyes, which were erotically demure, her lashes fluttering as she lowered her gaze to his crotch. He cautiously kept his breathing checked as she unbuckled the belt of his pants, unzipping the fly with careful slowness that ate at his patience.

When she finally held his manhood in her hands, he barely contained his groan of approval. He watched in awe and growing lust as her small hands began their magic, massaging him to the point where he was too hard to think about anything else asides from plunging himself deep, deep, ...deep within her.

Kaoru lifted her eyes then, her hands stopping, a small smile at the edge of her rose-petal mouth, before she closed them around his head.

Enishi stiffened and felt his body had been electrified, his senses going crazy as he watched her take him fully inside her mouth, her head bobbing up and down in a slow rhythm that was increasing its pace as she went along. Her tongue caressed his skin feverishly as she used lips and teeth to entice his frazzled senses. His hands clutched the arms of the seat as she leaned closer, her breasts grazing his leg as she continued to swallow him whole.

The feel of her hardening nipples against his leg was the last straw. With an incoherent grunt, he roughly pulled her away from his engorged length, drawing her on top of his body.

She looked absolutely divine with her startled eyes, her flushed body and her moist lips. Like a greedy child, he positioned himself at her opening and roughly took her down upon him.

It was a long time later when the couple finally rested on themselves after exerting their energies in their love-making. Enishi looked up from his rest, he realized that Kaoru was already asleep. Her lips curled into a contented half-smile. He pushed himself off of her and covered her body with his blanket. He joined her sooner than he expected, pulling down the blanket a bit to rake his eyes over her delicate yet sensual body.

He sighed and ran a hand fleetingly across her stomach before pulling the blankets around the both of them and falling asleep.

TBC...

Part 3: Sinking Slowly

Notes: And in the next chapter, I'll give Kaoru her old personality back...;;...


	3. Sinking Slowly

The Stages of Drowning Thyself

Notes: Again/.../ denotes flashback. We're almost done with ExK's purely sexual relationship...the next part we'll see if they can start something new... ;;

Part 3: Sinking Slowly

---

Kaoru walked around the small but oppressive condo with anvils in her head. She walked cautiously, taking pains to avoid turning her head too suddenly or to make any sudden sounds. All her senses seemed to have been intensified ten-folds and she felt that her torture was finally complete.

Actually, cooking breakfast had made it complete. Kaoru looked at the tray in front of her and realized she had never cooked so miserably in all her life. She picked up the tray of food and took extremely small steps towards the opened bedroom door. She wasn't kidding herself about what had transpired the night before- she wasn't trying to be romantic or find herself a new relationship - but she didn't feel all too good about taking her host for granted.

Thus, she had cooked him breakfast.

As she settled the tray down on a nightstand next to his bed, she felt nervous butterflies flutter in her stomach as she watched him awaken.

The ferocious eyes she remembered was slightly dimmed with sleep but they clarified as he realized her presence. She felt a blush traitorously work up her cheeks as he straightened up, blankets dropping lower than his waist, revealing long expenses of chiselled, god-like flesh.

Memories of those flesh against hers deepened the blush that she wore.

"I...I made breakfast."

---

Enishi woke up smelling something like food near him. He had seen her watching him and noticed the coloring of her skin go from a sweet pink to a darker rose. He eyed the breakfast she had placed by his bed before taking a good long look at her.

She was already fully dressed, and apparently bathed as well – he could tell that the clean smell she wore was none other than his own soap. He realized how conservative her clothing were – light blue, long-sleeved shirt that barely showed the angelic figure he had witnessed the night before, and an ankle-length skirt that hid the long, shapely legs underneath. Her hair was up in a neater version of yesterday's ponytail and there was a slightly more alert, if not tired, look on her face.

He reached for the food and took a bite of breakfast. He squelched the desire to spit it back out as he swallowed it in one gulp. Enishi looked up at her, his face carelessly impassive.

"Join me." He gestured to the empty spot next to him.

---

Kaoru looked at him, the butterflies appearing again as she pondered at his invitation. She could still remember how his sapphire eyes had burned when he had awoken her from slumber and continued his sexual play till she was screaming his name shamelessly into the night. Her gaze dropped to something more mundane – like his hands – and instantly she recalled how they had travelled deep inside her, pleasuring her senses to no end... Coughing to hide her sudden embarrassment, she shook her head.

"I've got a meeting to go to." Kaoru spoke quickly, averting her eyes from the smouldering look he was giving her. "And anyways, I did say that I'd be gone in the morning, right? It's... it's time for me to go."

She stood there, not knowing what to do next. Her heart was still beating wildly as she didn't know how to walk away from this beautiful stranger.

"Meeting the husband?" His voice, laced with a sneer, rudely broke through her thoughts.

"Ex." She found herself snapping back at him. She consciously gentled her tone and sighed, "My ex-husband, yes, we've got a meeting."

She took a step back and congratulated herself at her own willpower. She looked up at him, her newfound bravery was lost as she stared into his eyes.

"Well then...," she gave an awkward and somewhat silly-looking wave, "Goodbye then...uhm..."

Embarrassingly enough, though she had screamed his name millions of time just hours before, she couldn't seem to remember it at the moment. Her blush deepened and she wondered if she could just let her words hang and make it sound intentional.

Obviously unconvinced, amusement glinted in his eyes as he spoke up.

"Enishi," he supplied his name.

Kaoru gave a nervous laugh and attempted another pathetic wave.

"Yes, well, goodbye, Enishi."

---

Enishi felt faintly amused that she had forgotten his name. After all his exploits to imprint his name on her lips last night, she all but had forgotten it with the rising sun. He chuckled at her practically galloping out of his door, wondering when she would realize that his front door won't open without his key.

He slid out of bed, reaching for his black robe, sliding it over his figure before making his way out of his bedroom.

---

Kaoru had undone all the locks on the door and was now struggling to twist the knob open. After several exasperating attempts, she realized that it was either stubbornly locked or broken.

She heard the soft pads of footsteps behind her and she turned to find herself face to face with the devilishly passionate stranger. She was starting to get tired of the warm color that rose to her cheeks every time she looked at his sinfully handsome face. His image was even more endearing with his snow-white hair tousled from sleep.

"I'm slightly paranoid with who goes in and out of my home." Enishi spoke, that playful smirk appearing on his lips. "Whoever receives my permission to come in will also need my permission to go out."

Kaoru furrowed her brows, her dark blue eyes burning with something like anger.

"Are you keeping me here against my will?" She felt her voice become slightly louder than she expected.

He chuckled,

"Your disposition tends to change very quickly, doesn't it?"

Kaoru bristled. "I'm not amused."

Enishi cocked his head to one side, his smirk softening slightly.

"You need my key to get out. I was going to help you on your way."

She felt an awful taste in her mouth as she realized how rude she must've looked. Kaoru bit her lips, trying to figure out a way to rectify the situation.

"I'm sorry." She bowed her head slightly, "I was overreacting."

---

He watched as her shoulders visibly relaxed. She gave him an apologetic looking smile and moved so that he could unlock the door.

"Would you mind helping me, please?" So she had decided to switch back to her more polite nature. "I'm going to be running late if I don't hurry."

Enishi let his lips curl into a sly grin, noticing that she took a step back from him as he moved towards her.

"Enishi...?" Her voice faltered as she tilted her head back, his height overwhelming her petite body.

"Why are you so afraid of me?" He asked, letting his fingers touch her arms slowly, caressing her through the soft fabric of her shirt. He had a feeling he already knew the answer but he let the question hang in the air anyways.

He took another step closer to her and she took another step back, promptly sealing her between the wall and his body. She tried to flatten herself out as much as possible against the concrete, which only allowed him to pin her more effectively. Enishi smiled inwardly at this thought.

His hands travelled downwards, catching the fabric of her skirt, pulling the hem up higher and higher until he had exposed all of her creamy legs- all the while keeping his eyes fixed on hers.

She started at the movement and confusion skittered across her face.

"Wh-...?"

He leaned down, licking her slightly parched lips, before kissing them fully. One hand clutched at the hems of her skirt and waist, the other, searching her bud against the cotton of her panties.

Her lips formed an 'o' against his, shuddering as his fingers started their fiery dance. She looked up at him, fury and pleading shone in her eyes.

"I really need to go...," her voice quavered as his fingers pressed harder against her womanhood.

"Then I'll just have to make this quick, won't I?" He murmured.

Moisture was now seeping through the thin layer of fabric, her body betraying her own desires from his attentions. He watched as she gave up on her will to leave, her hands reaching underneath his robe, splayed against his skin. Her hands moved and she pulled him to her roughly, surprising him momentarily.

"Then you'd better start now." Her eyes narrowed as she bit out her words.

He laughed at her forwardness and complied with her wishes. He tore off her panties and took one leg up to wrap around his waist. She gasped when she felt his hardness push against her entrance. Enishi's smile was half-grimace, half-grin when he heard her moan his name as he lifted her onto him.

His teeth sank into the tender skin of her neck as he felt the inviting softness of her body spiral him into a dizzying lust-filled haze.

---

"Tell me you want me." His voice was low against her ear as he started to rock her body gently with his thrusts.

Kaoru whimpered as she strained to meet his moves, her body tightening excruciatingly with his pace.

"I want you...," she barely managed a throaty whisper.

He plunged deep within her, earning a loud moan from her.

"Forgotten my name already, sweet?" His voice taunted, continuing his thrusts.

/Kaoru sleepily opened an eye as she felt herself being waken up. She found Enishi over her body and felt his hardness press insistently against her.

He was smiling that vampiric smile of his.

"Tell me you want me, sweet." He pressed himself against her.

Kaoru let out a sleepy contented sigh.

"I want you Enishi..."

He chuckled before surprising her with a single fluid thrust deep within her./

"You're. Thinking." He said through gritted teeth, stopping his movements before driving himself into her core.

Kaoru gasped at the sensation. She grasped at his hair, pulling his angry face down to hers.

"I'm... thinking of you...Enishi..."

He looked at her suspiciously.

Desperate for him to continue, she brought her lips to his,

"I want you so much Enishi..."

To which he replied with devouring her mouth and continued to rock both their desires to its peak.

---

Himura Kenshin watched as Makimachi Misao, Kaoru's friend and attorney, leave the room with an apologetic look on her face. He gave a sigh and looked at his watch. It was almost two hours since the appointed time of their meeting and Kaoru still hadn't shown up. He and his own lawyer had watched as Misao continuously tried to reach Kaoru through her cellphone.

Kenshin's eyes simmered gold as he wondered if harm had fallen onto Kaoru. Or had she just been too distraught to meet him today?

'No,' he shook at that thought, 'No matter how distraught she is, she wouldn't run away.'

Shinomori Aoshi, his lawyer-friend who was recently tangled in a sort-of relationship with the said Misao, looked at him questioningly.

"Should we wait some more?" Aoshi asked.

Kenshin hesitated.

"It's not like her to miss a meeting. I'm sure she'll be here soon."

At that moment, Misao entered into the room, looking extremely worried and confused.

"I'm really sorry, Kenshin, Aoshi," she placed her cellphone in her purse, "I can't get through to Kaoru. She's not picking up her house phone or her cell. Oh gosh, I hope she's OK..."

Misao's words gave voice to his own worries. He was starting to seriously think that something had happened to her. He clenched his fists, not daring to follow the course of his own thoughts.

It was then that the door burst open, and a slightly out-of breath Kaoru appeared. Kenshin and Aoshi immediately stood up and Misao let out a cry of relief and joy as she hugged her friend.

"Gods Kaoru!" Misao exclaimed, "I was so worried about you!"

Kaoru looked truly sorry as she returned the hug briefly before taking a seat across the table from Kenshin. Once she was seated, Aoshi and Kenshin took their places again and Misao settled next to her.

"My apologies," her voice was a bit breathless and a flush had come over her complexion, "I'm sorry to have kept everyone waiting."

"It's alright." Aoshi's voice sounded crisp and detached, producing papers out of thin air, "Let's get straight to business then."

"Yes, let's." Kaoru murmured, lowering her face.

Misao opened her own file and spoke on behalf of Kaoru with Aoshi, her voice slightly louder and more emphatic in their arguments.

All the while, Kenshin couldn't keep his eyes off of Kaoru. He had noticed her irregular breathing, the faint coloring of her normally pale skin and the slightly messy state her hair was in. Her shoulders were tensed and she didn't seem to be listening to any of the proceedings. Kenshin felt a stab in the pit of his stomach.

'She looks like she's just had sex...,'

He didn't know what to make of this, but, having been married to her for 5 years, he knew the tell-tale signs of her after-sex experience all too well.

"Isn't that right, Kaoru?" Misao's voice cut through his thoughts and also through Kaoru's.

Kaoru looked startled and jolted back slightly. She looked to Misao and leaned forward, the scoop of her neckline falling along with her.

It was then that he noticed the small but visible mark on her skin, hidden briefly by her modest clothes. His eyes narrowed at the sight and, as if she had felt his eyes burning her skin, she tugged at her neckline, assuming its previous position.

Kenshin felt something like rage burn itself slowly within him before a voice knocked a harsh bit of truth into his head.

'She's not yours anymore...'

He struggled to swallow that fact as he continued to watch Kaoru. She raised her eyes at him and he saw the guilt that was all-too easy to read. She looked away, pretending to be interested in Misao's words, her hand fluttering to the mark he'd seen earlier.

He clenched his hands into a fist.

---

Kaoru felt guilty and angry at the accusing look Kenshin kept throwing her way. She might not have been so readable hadn't Enishi been so fervent before. She sighed to herself and drummed her fingers on the table.

'That's another man out of my life...,' Kaoru looked up and glared at the violet eyes that were appraising her.

Kenshin looked non-plussed and turned his attention back to Aoshi's words.

Kaoru felt her stomach constrict with pain as she watched Kenshin turn his attention away from her. She clutched at her skirts, willing herself not to show any signs of weakness.

She wanted to laugh bitterly at herself,

'Even after hours of bliss, one look at him and you're miserable again.'

She stared down at her fists, all her thoughts centered on the red-haired man whom she still considered the love of her life.

'I miss him so much...'

TBC...

---

Part 4: Struggling for Air

Notes: I pretty much had envisioned these three chapters... now that they're done, I'm lost at what to do. ;; This is going to be an Enishi x Kaoru fic but for there to be any real E x K love, the issue of the other K (Kenshin) must be addressed. headache And since KxK's manga relationship is so perfect it makes the job so much more harder... I hope that you had enjoyed reading this as well. Thank you for taking the time!


	4. Struggling for Air

The Stages of Drowning Thyself

Part 4: Struggling for Air

---

Kaoru picked up a portrait of herself and Kenshin, dusting the edges and placing it lovingly into a box marked 'To Bury'. She had tied a handkerchief around her head, holding back her voluminous hair as she worked through her house, picking up and sealing away items to be carried off with her, to be carried off with Kenshin, or to be buried in a deep dark hole where she'd never have to deal with them ever again.

"Kaoru-dono..."

"Ack!" Kaoru jumped out of her skin, turning around while clutching at her heart. She gave Kenshin a withering look, "Damn it, Kenshin, you've got to learn to stop sneaking up on people!"

Kenshin looked somewhat bemused before noting the 'To Bury' box at her feet. His features grew solemn.

Kaoru noticed where his eyes had gone and sighed loudly, turning back to her work.

"What're you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Sumanu," Kenshin bowed his head, "I needed to make sure you're alright."

Kaoru felt her temper flare at his words and choked on the need to bash his head in with the feather duster.

"Kenshin, stop with the worrying. I've lived on my own before you and now I'll learn to live on my own again. You can't divorce me then follow me around everywhere."

Kenshin flinched at her words.

"Sumanu, it's inappropriate, I know, but..."

"No, no, no...," Kaoru shook her head, her feather duster following her movements, "No 'buts'. If you want to help me through this, you've got to stop treating me like your wife. You're only making it worse that way."

"Sumanu...," Kenshin's face became a picture of guilt.

Kaoru sighed and walked over to him. She placed a free hand on his shoulder, feeling some of the old tenderness meld in her heart.

"Ana- Kenshin," she corrected herself, keeping her voice gentle, "Thank you, for coming to see me but, I really feel that I need time to myself now." Her eyes misted as his eyes came to meet hers, "Just because we're not married doesn't make me love you any less. And you have to understand that it's killing me to be near you."

Kenshin smiled a sad smile. He sighed and placed a hand over Kaoru's.

"I had never deserved such a wonderful woman."

Kaoru held back a tear, masking it with a smirk.

"That, Kenshin, is true."

She turned away, continuing her cleaning, sorting more pictures into the categorical boxes. She could feel him watching her and it took all her willpower to not scream in frustration. She felt as if though they were in their courting days and she was waiting for him to make a move- only now it was a somewhat backwards type of situation.

"Kaoru-dono, keep the house." Kenshin's voice suddenly broke her chain of thoughts.

She sighed,

"Kenshin-,"

"I don't need it. I already have property elsewhere... but you," Kenshin's voice was full of concern, "You need a place to stay. I won't sleep well not knowing whether you're safe in a home or not."

"Kenshin--,"

"Please, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin's gentle tone, so sincere in its request, made her feel anguished at having to be so near him, "Just keep it until you can find another place. You don't have to give it up so soon."

"Kenshin, I cannot stay in this house." Kaoru was firm on at least this much. "This was not my house, this was _our_ house. And I can't stay in a house that will constantly plague me with memories. I don't want to wallow anymore, I want to start moving on. I've done enough wallowing to last me a lifetime."

Kenshin looked a bit uneasy all of a sudden. Kaoru raised an eyebrow.

"What?" She asked.

"I've been meaning to ask...forgive me, I know I have no right to ask of your personal affairs any longer but...," Kenshin hesitated, not sure how to bring up the topic.

Kaoru knew what he wanted to ask and sighed again. She was becoming a human sighing-machine.

"I'm not dating anyone at the moment, if that's what you're wondering."

"Ah...," Kenshin hesitated again. He really was bad at this sort of thing.

Kaoru rolled her eyes,

"And yes, Kenshin, I've had sex with another man."

Now that the event was long past gone and she had been given a good hard smack in the head, courtesy of her ol' friend Takani Megumi, she wasn't too uncomfortable discussing it.

Kenshin looked a little startle at her blunt confession.

"Ah... ano... I... It's just that... ah..."

Kaoru felt a laugh bubbling up from within. Even now, the sight of a flustered Kenshin could still make her laugh.

"I know I should be more embarrassed about it- and I would have been if you'd asked me earlier- but now, it's just something that had happened during a particularly low point of our divorce."Kaoru stated matter-of-factly. "I've gotten over punishing myself and I don't intend on doing it again. Does that satisfy your queries?"

Kenshin gave a smile.

"I have to admit, Kaoru-dono, it did make me jealous for awhile."

"It's going to happen sooner or later, wasn't it?" Kaoru quipped, her voice edged with sadness. She was about to sigh yet again and then stopped herself. She looked up at Kenshin, "Let's not discuss your being jealous or my missing you anymore, shall we? It's making me sad again."

"Sumanu," Kenshin bowed his head, "I suppose I have intruded too long on your time."

Kaoru smiled.

"We can sit down and talk later... much, much later. When I've at least healed a bit. Right now, when I look at you, I still see my husband and it's hard to see you as anything but that."

They both fell quiet. The only sound came from Kaoru's movements as she finished clearing a shelf and was now sealing a box with tape. Wiping off dust from her hands onto her smock, she took off her makeshift bandana and walked towards Kenshin.

Her hands found Kenshin's and she looked down at their intertwined fingers. Kenshin's gaze followed hers and he felt his heart contract.

Ages of silence passed by as they stood in that position.

"I miss you so much..." Kaoru whispered, her voice cracking with ache.

Kenshin bit his lips, wondering if he should respond to that. He decided to throw away his caution for the moment, resting his forehead onto hers.

"I miss you too, Kaoru-dono."

A tear slid down her cheek as she leaned into his warmth. Kenshin's arms went around her body, holding her in a consoling embrace. She felt herself sniffling as he continued to hold her in silence, fighting her reasoning to not torture herself and to break away from his hug. She held onto his familiar presence, memorizing the feel of his body against hers- knowing that she might never have this chance again.

The tears came more rapidly now and she buried her face into his shirt, trying to hold back the sound of her crying.

Kenshin felt his heart break at the muffled sound of her tears, holding her closer instinctively. The part of him that still loved her, that argued for him to give into his love, demanded him to rethink his actions. Kenshin steeled himself against those feelings. He knew that he had no right to impose such danger on her- he would rather break her heart now than to have her blood on his hands later. This way, he could keep her safe from harm's way.

He held onto her tightly, his features turning grim,

'Kami-sama..., please don't let anything happen to her...'

* * *

Yukishiro Enishi looked out of his office, his eyes narrowed in a dark manner. He wasn't staring at anything in particular but his stance was one of anger and controlled fury. His hands were inside the pockets of his pants, his shirt undone to reveal a teasing view of muscled skin underneath. Manicured fingernails reached around him to play with that tantalizing bit of skin, only to be brushed aside immediately. 

"Go away." His voice was cold, impassioned.

The pretty face behind him gave a confused look, backing away slightly. She had gone to him since he had requested her presence. One thing quickly led to another and after their little play, he had become distant and dangerous looking. She wasn't sure whether she had displeased him or if there was something else she didn't quite get.

"Yukishiro-sama...," she started hesitantly.

"Go away." He dismissed her again. "I'll have you transferred to another branch tomorrow- you'll be notified of your new offices soon."

She felt as if he had delivered a punch to her gut. She stood rooted to the ground, not knowing what had just happened.

Annoyed that she was still around, Enishi turned and swiftly walked towards her, catching her arm and leading her towards the door.

"Yu-Yukishiro-sama...," she almost sobbed, "What did I do? Wh-Why...?"

"I don't have time for this." Enishi spat out, looking a bit appalled at her tears.

Practically throwing her out of his room, he closed and locked his door, letting out a long sigh afterwards.

He was crossed with himself.

Normally, he didn't bother with sexual urges and focused all his energy on his work. Today, that little clerk had come in and he had caught a whiff of her perfume.

It had smelled like Kaoru.

Before he knew it, he had had taken out his desires on her, only to have the icy waters of truth splashed into his face. He had looked down at her and seen that it wasn't Kaoru. Which was why he was so aggravated.

Enishi sighed.

It had been about three months since his encounter with Kamiya Kaoru. He had thought that she would look him up and approach him, but evidently, she really had been serious when keeping their meeting to only one night.

'One night and half a morning,' he thought with a slight smirk.

On that day, he had thought that all his plans were finally falling into place. Now, it seemed as if though he was right back where he had started – the only pawn he had had in his grasp was now safely out of his reach.

And a beautiful pawn she had been.

Enishi shook that thought from his head.

'Now I've got to replace my clerk.' He sighed. 'I've got to get a hold of myself.'

With that thought in mind, Enishi settled back behind his desk, intent on staying the entire night to make up for his minor dalliance.

* * *

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. 

Takani Megumi got up from her 9 o'clock movie, disgruntled that she had had to entertain anyone. Once sure that she was decent, she opened her door, her frown turning into a smile when she saw her friend, Kaoru, at the door.

"You're back late." Megumi stepped aside to allow the young girl inside.

"Sorry, Megumi," she took off her jacket and held onto it for a moment. "I was with Kenshin."

Megumi felt her frown come back on.

Kaoru hastily waved her hands in front of her,

"It's nothing like that! I was clearing up some of my stuff and he had dropped by. That's all!"

Megumi didn't look convinced but decided to let the disapproval feelings go.

'I guess I'm still mad at Ken-san...,' Megumi eyed Kaoru sympathetically, '...I thought he would be the type to stay no matter what...'

"Anyways, meeting Kenshin got me thinking..., I need your help, Megumi," Kaoru started, perking up again. "I want to find my own place to stay."

Megumi took Kaoru's jacket from her and hung it inside a closet. She looked back at the girl with concern.

"Kaoru, you don't need to rush. You can stay here as long as you—,"

"I can't intrude on your hospitality too long," Kaoru smiled, "And I need to get another job soon also. Preferably close to my home. So, might as well find a place to settle down so I can get on that ASAP."

"Another job?" Megumi looked startled.

Kaoru gave a nervous laugh.

"I quit my job yesterday."

"Kaoru!"

"I know... I know...," Kaoru winced, "...but it was a crappy job anyways. I only did it so I could be close to home and Kenshin."

Kaoru felt a sting at mentioning his name again.

"Kaoru...," Megumi sighed, "Why didn't you tell me this yesterday?"

"I don't know." Kaoru shrugged, "I was scared, I guess. I had wanted to do it for some time and then when I did, I got scared. I'm giving up everything that I was with Kenshin that I wondered if I'd given myself up as well."

Megumi sat Kaoru down on the sofa, switching off the TV. She looked hard at Kaoru.

"I guess you're really making a fresh start out of everything, huh?"

"Yeah..., after meeting Kenshin today, I realized that that was the best thing to do." Kaoru continued to smile, "I don't need to have everyone looking at me with pity. I want to start anew."

"Oh Kaoru..." Megumi leaned forward and hugged her friend. "You know I'll help you through this."

Kaoru returned the hug.

"Thank you..."

Megumi broke away, wiping a tear from her eye, laughing.

"Look at me, all choked up cause you're growing up all over again."

"I guess I am growing up, in a way." Kaoru smiled.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way, though." Megumi softly said.

"Yeah...," Kaoru's look turned pensive, "Me too."

* * *

TBC... 

Part 5: Let Go

Notes: I feel like this part was very vague. Everything was vague. But I needed a transition piece before Kaoru can become Kaoru again. So, she's still teeter-tottering here. It was hard trying to write a moment for Kaoru and Kenshin without going overboard. sighs (this chapter had a lot of sighing in it if you noticed ;;) I hope I didn't do too bad a job... Again, thank you all for reading this far...


	5. Let Go

The Stages of Drowning Thyself

Notes: This part is more... upbeat... than the previous parts. -cringes- It's almost a bit too happy for my liking but it's a transitional period that had to show Kaoru happy at least for a little while. I mean, she's not characteristically a depressed person, so... Well, let's just hope you'll enjoy this still. Thanks again for reading and do drop a line or two, it's really nice to hear comments -hint hint- ;-)

Part 5: Let Go

---

If there was anything Kaoru could take pride in, it was watching her students grow bit by bit every time they came into the dojo. She felt a certain pride in seeing how they developed into individuals who had dignity and were honorable people. And amongst all her students, there was one whom she felt closest to her – though she would never ever, anywhere in the future, ever indulge this piece of information to him.

Myojin Yahiko, a young teenager with a past he would not share with anyone except Kaoru. His trust in her had made her all the more eager to keep his secret close. He was always complaining about her practices and making fun of her overall appearance, but he had never disobeyed her nor had he ever backed down from a challenge.

"200!" Yahiko yelled triumphantly, bringing the shinai down with a determined force. He looked over his shoulder at her, "Busu! I'm done for today!"

Kaoru made a 'tsk-tsk' sound and came over to him, ruffling his hair as punishment for his name-calling.

"Not if you want to be stuck at that level for another year."

Yahiko's eyes immediately snapped to attention, his mouth curled into a questioning frown.

"You've got to do more at home." Kaoru reminded firmly, "200 in the dojo alone isn't enough. For you to be constantly in shape, you've got to continue an extra 500 at home."

Yahiko made a smug look with a turn of his chin.

"Ceh! Is that all? I've been doing that plus extra!"

"Really?" Kaoru raised an eyebrow. "Well, if with that kind of practice you're still at your level, than it's gonna be 400 at the dojo and 1000 at home."

Yahiko's face burned with something like rage before he immediately cooled down and that childishly smug grin came back on full-forced.

"Haha! Busu, you're not gonna scare me. I can do that and more!"

"Before I give you more to do, why don't you just clean up and go home." Kaoru shook her head.

Taking her words as a dismissal, he immediately stood in a rigid stance before bowing deeply.

"Arigatou, sensei!"

Kaoru watched him walk away, feeling that same surge of pride well deep inside her. He was a stubborn and a wilful kid, that he was- but he was also deeply dedicated to the art of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu.

"Oi! Jou-chan!" Another familiar voice called out to her.

She turned around and eyed the tall, lanky figure wearily.

"What do you want now?"

He gave her a sheepish grin.

"I'm bunking at your place tonight. I've got...er...uh..."

Kaoru waved away his pathetic attempt at an explanation.

"Maa...maa..., don't even try Sano." She walked over to her bag and took out the spare set of keys she had prepared for these types of situations. Throwing it over to him carelessly, she warned, "Don't make too much noise when you come in. I enjoy my sleep."

He laughed off her comment, his hand swiftly catching the keys.

"Mata ne, Jou-chan!"

Kaoru shook her head- sometimes she wondered if she was being too lenient on that guy. Sagara Sanosuke was harmless to her, he was like a pesky older brother who was constantly getting into trouble. She had met him one night, finding him unbelievably drunk and bruised from God-knew-what. Unable to not help a person in need, she had taken him in, did her best to patch him up and after that, he kept on coming back to her whenever he knew he was going to get into one of those nights again. She never questioned and he never lied. Kaoru liked it that way.

She looked at her watch and realized that it was time to close. Calling her students to attention, she gave them the customary instructions of what to practice at home and warnings that she would know if they didn't and the divine punishment that would come unto them when she did. They left slowly, the numbers slowly disappearing until she was the only one left in the practice hall. Kaoru waved the last one goodbye and went to shower and change.

Checking her watch again after slipping on a loose black cotton yukata, she cursed and grabbed her things, stuffing everything she needed into a huge bag. She quickly ran out of the dojo after locking everything up, and headed towards the Akabeko.

"Kaoru!" A relieved sounding Tae greeted her. "I was worried you weren't going to make it."

"I'm so sorry," Kaoru apologized as she slipped on her white apron over the yukata, "I lost track of time..."

"Don't worry," Tae waved the apology away. "Customers are piling in tonight. Must be some sort of occasion in town."

"Really?" Kaoru looked tired before she even went out to the restaurant, "Are they nice customers or bad customers?"

"Mostly nice." Tae reassured her. "Just hungry."

"Alrightey then," Kaoru took a deep breath and stepped out of the office of the Akabeko and into the restaurant filled with buzzing people, plastering on a happy smile.

---

Kaoru sighed as she soaked her feet into warm water. She splashed them a bit, letting the sounds from the TV brush over her senses as she closed her eyes and just relaxed for the moment.

Working two jobs was definitely tiring but it was nothing she could complain about. She was finally doing something she loved- teaching kendo and Tae had helped her so much she didn't mind putting in extra hours to give back to her.

It had been about a year and a half since she'd moved into this new part of town and she was finally stabilizing. New place, new work, new friends... basically a new life. She saw Megumi often enough, and Kenshin made it a point to check up on her at least once a week so she wasn't exactly cut off from her old life either. A balance had been established and she could finally start to enjoy herself.

She heard the lock click and there was a squirming sound of the door opening.

"Jou-chan? You awake?" Sanosuke's voice was quiet but loud enough for her to hear.

"Over here!" Kaoru waved without opening her eyes.

She heard him plop down next to her and felt arms work its way under her neck and draped itself on her shoulders.

"You're intruding on my personal space, Sano." Kaoru mumbled happily.

"I need human contact." Sano quipped before adding meaningfully, "Female human contact."

Kaoru laughed and pushed his arms away.

"Kami-sama, you're awful! Hitting on your benefactor is bad, don't you know that?"

"I'm not hitting on you," Sano guffawed at her statement, "I'm just taking advantage of you because you're the only female who's willing to house a slum."

Kaoru shook her head and laughed, batting his arms that were trying to reach for her again.

"What're you doing here so early anyways?" Kaoru asked once she stopped laughing. "You're usually in when the sun's about to rise."

"Bad night." He made a face. "Lost money... a LOT of money..., couldn't get any gals and no one was feeling stupid for a fight..." He sighed heavily, "And now I'm with you."

"Gee, thanks." Kaoru rolled her eyes.

"I mean that in the most affectionate way possible, Jou-chan." He leaned into her, looking as if though he was going to kiss her before ducking down and splashing water all over her clothes and sofa.

"Argh!" Kaoru squealed, jumping away from the wetness, glaring at the hysterical Sano while trying to figure out a good comeback.

She wasn't given a chance to properly plan out her revenge as a knock came on the door. Kaoru shot Sano a 'We're-not-done-with-this-yet' look and went to answer the door.

She looked surprised at Kenshin's suspicious eyes glaring at her.

"Was that a scream I heard just now?" Kenshin moved to brush past her but was stopped by Kaoru.

"Yes," Kaoru held the door in front of her, not allowing Kenshin to enter, "I have company and we're in the middle of something."

As if on cue, Sano called out,

"Jou-chan?! Who's that?"

Kaoru hid a smile before turning to matters at hand.

"Do you want something, Kenshin?"

"I-," Kenshin paused, "I just came back from Kyoto and wanted to make sure you're safe. ...And maybe take you out for tea."

"Thanks Kenshin," Kaoru still kept the door as a buffer between them, smiling sincerely at Kenshin's concern, "But I'm alright and I'm kinda set for the night."

Was it her imagination or did he look a bit disappointed?

"Oh." Kenshin gave her that soft smile she was always used to seeing when he was feeling let-down. "Well then, I should---,"

"Wait," Kaoru berated herself inwardly at her inability to see anyone look unhappy, "I was going to have tea anyways. Why don't you join me and Sano for awhile?"

"Are you sure?" Kenshin didn't look too convinced. "I don't want to intrude on you and your—,"

"Don't worry." Kaoru opened the door fully and ushered him in. "Sano's not gonna mind at all."

---

Kenshin's first thought at seeing this 'Sano' was somewhere along the lines of 'oro?'. He kept his surprise hidden well enough at the sight of the tall, handsome man with hair that defied all laws of gravity and an aura that bespoke charm and hazard at the same time.

When he smiled though, Kenshin felt his worries wipe away. 'No, this man is a good person.'

"Sagara Sanosuke," Sano offered a hand out to Kenshin.

"Himura Kenshin." He took the hand and returned the smile.

"Himura?" Sano's eyes lit with surprise. He turned to Kaoru, pointing at Kenshin with a questioning look.

"Yes, he's my ex-husband." Kaoru affirmed his question and moved to the kitchen to make tea.

"Was it the cooking?" Sano asked good-naturedly.

A pan appeared out of nowhere and promptly hit the back of his head with accuracy and stunning force. Kenshin chuckled and decided he might like this guy.

As soon as he sat down with him, he realized why.

Sano leaned into him, gesturing that he do the same. Kenshin came close enough so that Sano's words were loud and clear only to him. His next words slightly threw him off guard.

"You are a bastard to have left her and you better not make anymore trouble for her." Sano's voice was edgy and was barely restrained in warning. "She's doing good now and she doesn't need you to mess it up again."

Kenshin liked his forwardness and the genuine caring he heard in Sano's tone. He wasn't, however, going to let Sano think that he was going to be scared off by him.

"Thank you for your advice, but I have no intention of harming her anymore than you do." Kenshin allowed just the slightest hint of steel mark his words. He leaned away from Sano and spoke in a more courteous tone, "I do appreciate your obvious loyalty to her and I hope you'll do well to take care of her when I can't."

He watched Sano look at him with surprise but his look quickly changed to one of understanding.

"Well, that can be arranged." Sano grinned at him.

"What are you two boys talking about?" Kaoru's voice broke into their quiet conversation. "If you're plotting something against me, tell me so I can just kick you both out now."

Kenshin just smiled as Sano laughed.

"No, Kenshin was just telling me how he nearly died from your cooking." Sano teased.

Kaoru's angry eyes fixed themselves on him and he felt an 'oro?' work its way out of his lips as her rage came in the form of hot tea drenched on his head.

---

"I'm really sorry." Kaoru muttered for the gazillionth time that night. She held a towel over Kenshin's head, pressing down on the long red locks. "I'm so sorry..."

Kenshin chuckled.

"Really, Kaoru-dono, I accept your apology so you can stop feeling guilty."

Kaoru shook her head, her hands stilling his movements as she helped dry his hair.

"I can't believe I lost my temper like that." Kaoru grumbled, her hands working its way through the endless amount of hair he had, massaging his head as a way of apology. "I should've known that Sano was teasing..."

Kenshin caught her hands and raised his face to smile at her. Kaoru felt even more guilty at the slight redness she saw at his scalp.

"Kaoru-dono..." His voice beckoned her to look into his eyes.

Kaoru gulped, feeling a sense of déjà vu go over her.

"Stop with the worrying." Kenshin continued to smile. "I'll be fine. It's nothing and I'll live."

Kaoru chewed on her bottom lip, moving her hand so as to start massaging his head again. Kenshin's hands stilled hers and gave her a meaningful look. She sighed.

"Alright." Kaoru let go of the towelled head, leaning back against the wall. "I suppose you won't die."

"No," Kenshin chuckled, looking more amused, "I won't."

She felt an arm drape over her shoulder and looked up to see that Sano had appeared. His eyes were heavy-lidded and he leaned on her quite a bit, making her stagger from his weight.

"Jou-chan, I'm gonna sleep now." He gave a big yawn that didn't look as if it was faked. "I'll leave early tomorrow so it's good night and see you later."

Kaoru shrugged the arm off of her, smiling as he retreated towards the living room.

"I'll get you some blankets."

"Don't—"

"You're sleeping with blankets." She said firmly. "I'll leave them on you if you've dozed off by then."

"Fine fine...," a sleepy voice called back to her before her couch gave off a groaning sound, complaining from his weight.

Kaoru laughed and went on tiptoes to look into her cupboard for a spare blanket.

"Is he living with you at the moment?" Kenshin's voice reminded her of his near presence.

Kaoru blinked at the question, her hands finding the blanket and holding them to her chest.

"No, he just needs a place to stay once in a while when he's in the neighbourhood."

"Are you dating?" Kenshin's question immediately brought forth a choked and a slightly hysterical laugh from Kaoru. Kenshin smiled, "That's a 'no', I presume?"

"No." Kaoru shook her head, wiping the tears that had come from a good hard laugh. "He's just a friend."

They looked at each other for a moment before Kaoru suddenly felt that she was a little too close to her ex-husband and it was bringing up feelings that she thought had long been buried. She moved away quickly, heading towards where Sano was comfortably sleeping on her sofa, albeit snoring a little. She draped the blanket over his form and, like a mother-hen, clucked as she tucked him in.

She felt Kenshin move behind her towards the door.

"I should go. You'll be needing your rest." Kenshin said.

"You're leaving?" Kaoru frowned. "At this hour?"

"Well, I've got work tomorrow so I should rest as well...," Kenshin smiled as if this should be obvious to her.

Kaoru rolled her eyes.

"I know you've got work, Kenshin, you've always got work to do. But you're not driving back at 4 in the morning for and hour and a half and then taking another half hour drive to work. You're not gonna have time to sleep." Kaoru took his arm and dragged him to her bedroom.

"Wh-what are you doing, Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin's eyes went wide with surprise.

"You're sleeping here tonight. I'm sure you've got clothes in a suitcase somewhere in your car. You can go to work straight from here. It's like you're going from home anyways." Kaoru pushed him inside her bedroom.

"B-but...," Kenshin stammered, suddenly not knowing what to do. "Wh-where are you sleeping?"

"I'll be fine." Kaoru gave him a wave and closed the door. "Good night Kenshin, sleep well."

She heard him stutter some more from behind the door and smiled to herself, going to find more blankets for herself. She wasn't going to let Kenshin sleep on the floor- that would've made her unable to sleep well. Her carpet was soft enough and she had a pillow stashed somewhere...

"Kaoru-dono."

She yelped as she felt herself being swept into Kenshin's arms. She felt ridiculous as he carried her into her bedroom. She was reminded of herself as a young bride and didn't like the onslaught of memories that threatened to overwhelm her.

"Kenshin!" She hissed, smacking him so that he would let her go. "What are you doing?"

"I'll sleep on the floor, you should sleep on your own..."

Kaoru kicked her feet out wildly and managed to jump out of his grip.

"Kenshin! I'm not having you sleep on the floor!"

"Well, I'm not letting you sleep on the floor either." Kenshin looked equally stubborn.

Kaoru sighed and threw up her hands in the air. She took Kenshin's hand and sat him down on the bed.

"Fine, I'll sleep with you tonight." Kaoru said, nudging him to make room for herself on the single bed.

"Eh?" Kenshin looked surprised at being manhandled this way.

"I'm sure we can both be mature adults and live through one more night of sleeping together." Kaoru tucked her feet inside the blankets and smiled sweetly. "I'm too sleepy to think of something better, I'm too tired to argue and too sleepy to care, so, good night."

Kaoru nuzzled her pillow and promptly went to sleep.

---

Whatever he had expected from her, it wasn't this.

Kenshin look at Kaoru's sleeping form, her breath had evened out a few moments ago and knew she had fallen asleep almost instantaneously. Kenshin fought the urge to run his fingers through her silkened locks and smiled down at her.

"Goodnight... Kaoru." He whispered softly, turning his back to her and letting himself fall asleep.

---

Kaoru woke up and knew that he was gone. Kenshin had always been early to rise and he was always so suspiciously quiet when moving. She rubbed at her tired eyes, groaning a bit when she remembered she had promised to help at the Akabeko for the lunch hour traffic. Reluctantly, Kaoru got up and ready for work. She didn't have class at the dojo today so at least she wouldn't be too tired.

As she hurriedly pulled on her yukata through the living room, she noticed that Sano had left his blankets pooled on the floor in a mess. Kaoru shook her head and decided not to clean up just yet- she had to hurry as it is.

When she arrived at the Akabeko, she knew instantly that something was off. Firstly, there was that prominent 'Closed' sign hanging at the entrance. Secondly, Tae looked like someone had died and was ready to take her down with them. Kaoru took her apron off a hanger and tied a bow behind her back, readying herself for work anyways.

"Tae?" She called out to her friend. "Why's the restaurant closed?"

Tae looked up from a file that she was reading, the haunted look still in her eyes. She tried to smile but it ended up looking more like she was going to cry.

"Kaoru-san!" Her soft voice seemed startled at her appearance. "It's- It seems as if though you won't need to come in for work today. There are some... well... it seems that..."

"Tae?" Kaoru came closer to the woman and peered over her shoulder to take a look at the file she was holding. "What's wrong?"

The woman hesitated, looking thoughtfully at the paper in front of her.

"I don't want to bother you with this Kaoru-san. I've already burdened you with so much work..."

"Tae!" Kaoru sounded shocked and dismayed at her friend. "It's not a burden at all that I'm helping you out! It's the least I can do after all you've already done for me."

Tae gave a sincere, heart-felt smile at her words. Kaoru settled down and plucked the file out of Tae's hands before she could stop her.

"Now, what's this that's gotten you look so dark and dreary?" Kaoru's eyes started to scan the document. "It's a... merger document of some sort?"

"More like an agreement for a joint ownership of this restaurant." Tae sighed heavily. "It was supposed to have assured the Akabeko's financial worries. I really didn't expect it to come this..."

"What's the problem?" Kaoru continued to scan the document, not really understanding half the jargons that were littering the pages. "I'm sorry, but this isn't exactly my field."

"My uncle held a big portion of this restaurant. He had recently sold off his share to be managed by a trustworthy company." Tae's eyes looked downcast. "I hadn't known since his signatures were still on some of the papers. Apparently, he acted as only the name while others took care of his finances. I've just come to realized that the company I'd recently joint with was the same one he had employed."

Kaoru's head was starting to spin. She wasn't sure if she had gotten down all the facts straight. She still didn't understand Tae's source of concern.

"Uhm... alright..., so, what's the problem now? You still own some parts of the restaurant, right?" Kaoru asked cautiously.

Tae shook her head.

"It doesn't really matter much since it's basically been taken over by the other company."

"Have you talked to them yet?" Kaoru looked furious. It seemed as if though someone had just turned a dirty trick to her friend.

"I've been trying to contact them but it doesn't seem as if though I'm worth the attention." Tae's lower lip trembled. "I've tried calling my sister for help but I'm not sure if she can handle this. The Yukishiro Corporation wants to sell off the restaurant for a new name."

"But the Akabeko has been in your family since forever!" Kaoru fumed.

"I'm sorry for troubling you, Kaoru-san." Tae tried to pry the file away from her but Kaoru's fingers wouldn't budge. "But this is my problem and I should..."

"Yukishiro Corporation, huh?" Kaoru looked down at the file and stormed out of the Akabeko.

Tae hurried after her, looking worried.

"Kaoru-san! Where are you going? I need that file!"

"Don't worry, Tae," Kaoru smiled reassuringly as she hailed down a cab, "I'm gonna make whoever's up at that corporation listen to me."

TBC...

---

Part 6: Collapse of Air

Notes: Well... I suppose you can guess what's gonna happen next. -cheeky grin- Weeeeeee!! I get to write Enishi again! -swoons- He's such fun to write... -goes off to contemplate next chapter-


	6. Collapse of Air

The Stages of Drowning Thyself

Notes: Slight citrus-y stuff here... just a twist of tang for the time being. Enjoy:-D

Part 6: Collapse of Air

---

Kaoru got out of the cab and looked up at the towering building before her. She clutched to the file for dear life as she wondered whether she would be able to pull this off. Hell, if she would even be able to do anything at all.

The Yukishiro Corporation building looked as if though it was made to intimidate. It had a wide walkway in front of it where most pedestrians seemed to skirt around it. Only people who were directly going in and out of the building walked through the path. Everything seemed to be made of a cold white granite, there was a feeling that the building would swallow you whole once you passed through the tinted glass doors. As Kaoru walked up to the front doors, she noticed what could only be the Yukishiro Corporation's emblem- a crouching white tiger with its claws out.

Kaoru gave a shudder and braced herself.

'Don't start being a coward now! You were so confident with Tae and now you're losing your nerve?' Kaoru chastised herself for her moment of weakness.

The inside of the building seemed to be covered with marble that was cold and calculating, there wasn't a bit of friendly atmosphere at all. Everyone looked like they meant business. Kaoru walked up to the reception and saw the list of floors and the offices they held.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" A woman's voice asked, she sounded polite enough but her eyes denoted that she was suspicious of Kaoru's presence.

To be sure, Kaoru's waitress outfit of black yukata and white apron stuck out like a sore thumb amidst the impeccable suits and ties. She glared at the woman and put on a winningly fake smile.

"I'm here to see the head of this corporation." Kaoru articulated sweetly. "I've made calls but since no one really wants to talk to me, I've decided to take this matter up personally. I'm from the Akabeko."

The woman didn't look as if she knew or cared what the Akabeko was. She dialled a number and looked appropriately bored as she got in touch with several people who also seemed as if they didn't know or cared about the business of the Akabeko. The woman's unfriendly face was starting to grate on Kaoru's nerves. When she had put down her phone, her face became coldly polite.

"I'm sorry, but there is no record that the Akabeko has made a meeting with Yukishiro-sama." The woman drew out a form and a pen, offering it to Kaoru. "If you still want a meeting, you could fill this form and in about a few weeks, you could speak with his representative."

Kaoru grit her teeth and smiled forcefully as she held back from slapping this woman silly.

"No, thank you, then."

The woman turned away from Kaoru and the moment she didn't see her, Kaoru slipped to the elevators, punching a button vigorously to make it close before she noticed she hadn't gone out. The door closed with a soft 'cling' and she waited for it to bring her up to the 16th floor. Kaoru furrowed her brows as she wondered how she was going to get into this Yukishiro's office- if he was even in.

The doors of the elevator opened and closed as it went up the floors, people streaming in and out steadily. It was noticed though, that no one seemed to be headed to the floor she was going to. Kaoru didn't know if this was bad or good.

As soon as she arrived on the floor, she realized that she might have to kick out a few punches if she was going to be able to get a glimpse of this Yukishiro's office. The men and women who were working on the floor looked at her and they knew that she didn't belong there and had no business being there.

She stepped off the elevator and walked purposefully to a lonely-looking man sitting in his cubicle. Softening her features dramatically, she pulled the best doe-eyed look she could.

"Sumimasen, but where is Yukishiro-sama's office?" She let her voice purr softly as she leaned into him for good measure.

The man, obviously stupefied that a woman would ever come so close to him, pointed a finger at an impressive looking set of mahogany doors.

She smiled triumphantly and was about to thank him when a large hand landed on her shoulder.

"Ma'am," She looked up and saw a huge security guard glaring down at her, "You're not supposed to be here."

'Kuso.' She cursed.

Before she had time to properly think out her plan of attack, her body had reacted instinctively and she had landed a blow to the man's legs, sweeping him onto the floor. At the start of yell, she realized she had gotten herself into more trouble. Kaoru ducked the advances of other men trying to stop her mad dash towards the mahogany doors. She didn't remember if she had broken anyone's body parts but she did get the basic uproar that had exploded while she made her way across the floor.

Reaching her destination, she pulled open the doors and shut it close behind her before anyone could reach her. Kaoru saw a latch and brought it down swiftly, turning her back against the door and slumping slightly in relief when she realized from the bangings outside that they wouldn't be able to come in.

"Well, well... This is definitely a surprise."

Kaoru started at the sound of the deep, husky voice.

She knew that voice from somewhere and when she raised her head she saw a flare of white hair, piercing sapphire eyes and that unmistakable smirk that made all the muscles inside of her tense.

"Enishi?!"

---

It seemed as if though his dreams had materialized before him in one loud bang of his doors. She looked dishevelled, distressed and still unbelievably delectable. He realized that his thoughts had made quite an alliteration out of her appearance.

She looked positively furious and he was loving this new side that he had never seen before.

"You're Yukishiro-sama?!" She all but yelled incredulously.

He definitely smiled at that.

"I never knew that it would sound so good coming from your lips." He licked his own lips at the thought of hers. "If I had known, I would have told you to scream that out at night."

"Don't change the subject!" She was still angry as she started waving the object in her hand – a file of some sort. "You're the one who's trying to sell off the Akabeko!"

He lifted an eyebrow, the name sounded slightly familiar.

"The Akabeko, you idiot." He was surprised at her pluck to actually start name-calling him. "The restaurant that you had so sneakily taken away from my friend, Sekihara Tae, and currently trying to sell off to another name!"

Well, that meant she was here for business, not pleasure. He was almost disappointed at that. Before he could dwell on those thoughts, he decided to settle things one at a time. Turning back to his desk, he looked through his computer for any file concerning the Akabeko.

"What are you doing?" She was walking towards him now. "Are you ignoring me?"

He narrowed his eyes at her and raised a hand to quiet her down. His lips twitched slightly in amusement when she gave him a look of utter fury.

---

How dare he?! Did he just raise his hand at her like she was some sort of child?!

Kaoru was fuming. She was livid. She wanted to go up to that arrogantly handsome man and beat some respect into him.

She watched as his fingers flew across the keyboard, his eyes scanning the screen of his computer. He didn't even seem to notice her presence anymore. Kaoru didn't know what to think. She had never gotten his last name and she would have never thought him to be the head of the Yukishiro Corporation. That was just some kind of sick cosmic joke.

Kaoru watched him work, willing herself to be silent.

She knew she might run into him again one day or another, after all, it was a very small world they lived in. She never thought that she would meet him under these kinds of circumstances. She hated the fact that he was holding all the power in their meeting at the moment and that she was reduced to just standing there- waiting for him!

There was a beep on his phone and he picked it up promptly.

"What?" His voice, when not directed at her, was crisp and detached- almost annoyed at this slight intrusion. "No, I'll handle her. I was expecting her anyways. ...No, you'll do no such thing. Just leave it be and find something else to do."

Actually, his voice was a lot harsher and... cruel when not directed at her. She supposed she should be thankful that all she got was sneering sarcasm.

"Alright." His turquoise eyes finally looked up at her. "I don't see your name as being a part of the Akabeko restaurant..."

"I'm just working there at the moment." Kaoru spoke up, feeling uncomfortable when his gaze started becoming probing.

"You're a waitress there?" Enishi's lips quirked into that smirk again. "Interesting. That would explain your outfit."

Her temper flew.

"What did you think then? That I'm here to cook you lunch?!"

"Oh gods, no." His eyes almost sparked in mischief. "I rather like my life to not want to throw it away to your god-awful cooking."

"Why you ungrateful basta—," Kaoru started before being cut off by Enishi.

"Well, getting back to business, since that's what's gotten you to intrude on my work so rudely," he felt a glimmer of satisfaction at her guilt and unease from his words, "The Akabeko is not such a top priority in my business and I could let that woman have her restaurant again."

Kaoru's eyes brightened briefly before they dulled and warily considered his words.

"What's that gonna cost?" She fidgeted, as if she knew that neither she nor that Sekihara Tae could ever produce the amount of money needed to buy their shares back from him.

Enishi smiled, and from the look of her face, she knew that he had other ideas about payment.

"I am rather pleased to see you again, Kaoru, so I think that I'll be able to let this restaurant go with three conditions that doesn't involve any monetary concerns at all." Enishi felt his smile turn feral. "If you could agree to that, I'll sign the papers that would immediately return the Akabeko effectively to your friend."

Kaoru's face was an interesting work to behold. Her eyes were stormy and contemplative while her lips pursed into a rigidly straight line. There was a hint of uncertainty and determination to her looks that made him realize that the Akabeko was a small price to pay for having her back again.

"What are the conditions?" Her voice almost shook but she was able to show him that she was not backing down without a fight.

He grinned. This was going to be fun.

"The first one, is that you agree to the conditions without knowing the second or third. Put your trust in me and I'll sign it now."

---

Kaoru felt like screaming. She felt like running around the small enclosed room and screaming, tearing her hair out. No, maybe tearing Enishi's hair out. This man was maddening and manipulative! She was starting to sorely regret her poor decisions that fateful night to agonize herself.

But what was she to do? The Akabeko was everything to Tae and there was no way she could find the funds to buy back the share in Enishi's hold. The look on his face had promised her that much. Kaoru was furious that she had to have met with him, out of all people!, to settle this problem.

Hardening her resolve, she hoped that she wouldn't lose too much from this bargaining.

"Fine." Kaoru spit out the word, starting to despise that careless smirk on his face.

"Good."

True to his word, he found the appropriate documents and with a flourish of a pen, he had signed the necessary papers. Not that she knew what the necessary papers were, she just hoped that he was holding onto his part of the deal and that he wasn't cheating her somehow. She knew he wasn't above tricks and devices but somehow, she had a feeling he wouldn't be pulling one on her.

"There." Enishi handed her the documents and she placed them in her file carefully.

She wasn't sure what she was to do next.

"Thank you." The words seemed somewhat appropriate.

He laughed.

"Don't thank me just yet. You still have to fulfil the other two conditions."

"How do you know I'll hold up to my side of the bargain?" Kaoru ventured, smacking herself for trying to push him. "I've already got the papers so I can just run out of here."

His grin was not a comforting one.

"Firstly, sweet, you wouldn't be able to run away from me that easily. Secondly, it's not in your nature to sink so low. You keep your word. Thirdly, it's my way of reciprocating your trust that I had given all the correct documents instead of easily misleading you." He finished by taking a step towards her. "So, are you ready for your part?"

Kaoru balled her hands into fists and met his eyes with a glare.

"Is anybody ever really ready for something like this?"

He gave a low, throaty laugh that made her insides somehow dance in anticipation.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'."

He closed the distance between them quickly and it took all of her training not to step back away from him. She tilted her head back and continued to glare up at him, though the effect was most probably lost due to her obvious lacking in height. Still, Kaoru was not going to let him have the satisfaction of seeing how he rattled her nerves.

"What I want you to do is firstly, stand absolutely still." His breath whispered against her ear and she had to bite down on her lips to keep from gasping at the sensation. "For exactly two minutes, stand absolutely still- don't speak, don't move, just keep your eyes and all your other senses open."

That was when her nervousness kicked in and she felt somehow frightened of what he could do to her in two minutes. She heard him snicker in her ear.

"Scared, Kaoru?" His voice taunted. "Backing down?"

That was a challenge if she had ever heard one before. Grimly determined to finish her business with him and never see him again, she planted her foot down firmly and looked into his eyes.

"You're gonna have a timer to make sure you don't go above two minutes." Kaoru spoke, hardness in her voice.

"But of course." Enishi took out his cellphone and after pressing some buttons, showed her the timer which had a two-minute countdown. "Just nod your head and I'll start the timer."

Kaoru felt that this whole ordeal was ridiculous and didn't know why she had gotten herself into this mess.

'Tae,' she reminded herself, 'You're doing this for Tae- Tae who had given you a job, helped you find a home, and helped you get back on your feet. You're doing this for her!'

With that thought in mind, she nodded.

"Keep your eyes open." Enishi's voice lingered in her ear even after he stepped away from her.

She knew the timer was running and her mind was frantically going over all the ecchi possibilities that he would do to her. Her body went still as she looked him in the eye and was surprised when, for the first few seconds, he did nothing but stare at her.

It was as if his eyes had the power the strip her down and see right through her defences. Those eyes were starting to tangle up all her nerves.

When he finally moved towards her, she felt her breath catch as his hands held her face. Her eyes still open, she wasn't sure what to make of the unreadable look in his eyes as his hands moved over face, fingers tracing the outline of her nose, mouth, eyes and then cupping her face again. She shivered slightly at the warm touch of his calloused fingers, wondering how he had acquired such roughened hands.

His hands journeyed through her hair, undoing her ribbon and letting them down to her waist. He rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes momentarily as she felt him run fingers through her hair before reaching up to hold her head. She wasn't expecting his lips to touch hers briefly, the chaste kiss different from the ones she had remembered. Her lips tingled from the short encounter and she blinked when his eyes opened so closely to hers.

She could feel his hands move down her neck, languishing in the feel of her skin as he watched her expressions. His arms encircled her body as his hands moved to her back, undoing her apron swiftly. She felt the material fall to the floor and wondered how much more of her clothing would come off. Her stomach felt like it was twisting into knots at his almost-touches.

Apparently, he only found that piece of clothing resentful as his hands continued to touch her through her yukata. She held her breath as they skimmed over her breast, the touch light and surprisingly made her ache for something more. His hands roamed down to her waist, holding her steady for a little while before sweeping back to brush against her bottom. Kaoru bit her lips to keep from squeaking, mentally forcing herself not to swoon into his touch.

Kaoru wondered how much time she had left when his arms went fully around her and held her in a tight embrace.

She knew she wasn't supposed to move yet she felt strangely awkward at not being able to wrap her arms around this person. It was an instinctive feeling that was hard to push down and bury.

Before she could start thinking again, he drew away from her and his hands quickly undid the ties of her yukata, letting the robes fall open and his hands began a more intimate search of her body. Kaoru's mind went blank as his hands touched her bare breasts, holding them and kneading them quickly before fluttering to the skin of her stomach- his bright eyes did nothing to calm her nerves as he continued to watch her eyes go from focused to a clouded haze.

All she could register was the feel of his warm hands against her skin and she bit back another gasp as his hands slid through her panties, brushing the tenderness within only momentarily. His eyes turned pleased and they suddenly disappeared from her field of vision as he lowered himself to her stomach, his lips threading kisses against her skin.

She was about to scream in frustration at his feather-light touches when she heard the timer ring and she took a step back immediately.

"Hold still." He ordered.

His hands quickly retied her yukata together and, picking up her discarded apron, put on her apron and redid the bow at her back.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" His eyes glimmered with a fierce look of satisfaction at her inability to articulate her thoughts.

Kaoru swallowed the mixed emotions that were swirling around and took another step away from him.

"What's the...," Kaoru stopped and gulped, hating the way her body seemed to still be trembling from his gentle touch, "What's the third part of our condition?"

Enishi let that smirk come over him again as he followed her steps and stooped down so that she didn't have to tilt her head back too much to look at him.

"You're going to leave me your phone number and address. I'll call you to let you when I'll be taking you out for dinner." Enishi looked particularly pleased with himself.

"Dinner?" Kaoru's eyes fluttered before the word registered in her brain. She furrowed her brows, "You mean like a date?!"

Enishi smiled that wicked smile of his.

"You're awfully brave when I don't have my hands all over you."

Kaoru ignored the comment and glared at him full force.

"I'm not crazy enough to go out on a date with you!"

"Well, that is my third condition and seeing that you've already completed the first and the second, I don't see why you should stop now." Enishi continued to smile.

"That's no excuse!" Kaoru wondered if her words were making sense at all. "I don't want to see you aga--,"

She shut herself up promptly, realizing she had let her thoughts slip.

Enishi quirked up an eyebrow.

"So you were planning to get rid of me? Well, that's not going to work. Not so soon anyways. Your phone number and your address for a dinner, or the deal is off."

Kaoru squirmed in her place, angry at herself. Angry that she had chosen this man to sleep with, not some tame, harmless other man. No, she had so sleep with this man who was anything but safe.

She stalked over to his table and, finding a pen, scribbled down her number and address furiously on any paper she happened to see there. Turning around abruptly, she was surprised once again when Enishi's lips covered hers in a possessive kiss, his hands on her, pushing her back against the table roughly as he moulded his form unto hers. His lips pressed her own for compliance and when she finally gave into him, his tongue conquered her mouth and tasted all that she had before leaving her breathless.

"That...," Kaoru panted, gasping out the words, "...wasn't...part... of the deal..."

Enishi brushed a hand through her hair and locked her with a fierce gaze.

"No, that was a kiss." Enishi bit her nose lightly and spoke against her lips, "To show that I didn't have to be gentle and kind earlier on."

When he came down to claim another kiss, Kaoru realized that she might have gotten herself back into deep waters.

TBC...

---

Part 7: Drowning

Notes: Yay! Got that off my chest!


	7. Drowning

The Stages of Drowning Thyself

Part 7: Drowning

---

The telephone was her enemy.

Kaoru eyed her cellphone with distrust, contemplating whether she should take it with her or not.

It had been almost a week since her unprecedented reunion with Yukishiro Enishi. Kaoru frowned at the name and continued to glare at her phone. Since that meeting, she had been deathly afraid of who would be on the other end of a call and what would be the message delivered to her.

"Just put me out of my misery, damn it!" Kaoru growled at the phone.

She felt ridiculous talking to the phone that way but her nervousness was starting to show at work and she needed to blow off steam. She wondered if she was going crazy, maybe all that pressure and stress had finally gotten to her brain and she was now facing its effects. Kaoru doubted any sane person would come out of this kind of situation unscathed.

Kenshin had come over to check on her again and though she knew he would have wanted her to tell him about her encounter with Enishi, she held her tongue and decided to skirt to more safe topics. Kaoru knew he would've done something drastic and she was never one to allow anyone to solve her problems for her. Being a damsel in distress was never her forte and she preferred – she needed – to know that she could take charge of her own life.

One good thing that had come out of her meeting with Enishi was that Tae was free from her troubles. She hadn't the heart to tell her how she'd gotten about his signature, so she had concocted a hazy story filled with many holes that were too obvious to be ignored. Tae had tried to grill information out of her but she'd managed to either not answer or run away from the topic altogether.

Kaoru sighed and then jumped when the cellphone started to sing a familiar tune.

Grabbing her phone, she immediately pressed the receiving button, her heart doing somersaults when she saw that it was an unidentified number.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded as if she was particularly mad about something but she couldn't be bothered with that little thought at the moment. "Who's this?"

"Kaoru." That roll of his voice was unmistakeable.

She felt herself hold her breath. She pursed her lips when she realized that he hadn't answered her question.

"What?" She was being intentionally rude.

"Dinner, tonight, 7 p.m. I'll come pick you up." His tone didn't allow for any argument on her part.

Kaoru frowned and wondered why she was so irritated by him. Maybe it was because of the way he treated her. Like he already owned her. She suddenly had the urge to break her cellphone.

"Fine." Kaoru managed to say, hanging up before he could say anything else.

She exhaled loudly, not realizing that she had been holding her breath even through their short conversation. She buried her face in her hands and groaned.

'Tonight then.'

---

Enishi stared at his receiver and realized that Kaoru had hung up on him. He placed the receiver back in its place and continued to stare at the phone, torn between amusement and annoyance.

'Well...,' he thought to himself, 'She's not getting rid of me that easily tonight.'

Somewhere between his villainous chuckle and his plans on dinner, he realized that he was actually anticipating the night to come.

---

"Jou-chan?"

Kaoru started at the sound of Sano's voice. She took her head out of her closet long enough to notice that he had arrived in front of her bedroom. She gave him a quick nod to allow him entrance and then proceeded to continue digging through her clothes.

Hanging up on Enishi had been a bad idea. She had essentially forgotten to ask what she was supposed to wear for dinner.

Kaoru shook her head angrily as she tried to find an outfit that would balance formal and informal enough so that it wouldn't look horrible on either occasion. Sano was watching her with curiosity, wondering why she was looking so annoyed.

"Jou-chan, what the hell are you doing?" Sano grinned, looking at her concentrated figure.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She snapped, not taking her attention away from her closet. "I'm trying to find something to wear."

"Big date tonight?" Sano ventured, still grinning.

He saw her shoulders tense before she continued her search through her closet.

"I don't know what to wear." Kaoru changed the subject easily, still rummaging through her small collection. "I have no idea where I'm going and I don't want to look... well..."

"Black is always a safe color." Sano suggested.

That statement got Kaoru to look up from her search. For the first time since her meeting with Enishi, she gave a genuine smile.

"I didn't know you were quite the fashion expert." Kaoru mused, "But thanks, that's true enough."

Kaoru eyed her black top with the plunging neckline and shook her head. She wasn't interested in tempting the devil, she needed something safe and modest. She reached for her turtleneck and gave a sigh of relief. It was long-sleeved, a bit form fitting but it was definitely a safe choice.

"You're gonna wear that on a date?" Sano asked, his nose twitching slightly, looking at her turtleneck as if it was offensive.

"I'm not out to seduce the guy," Kaoru smiled, "It's just dinner."

Sano sighed.

"Really, Jou-chan, you should start taking dating more seriously. How else are you gonna get laid?"

Kaoru threw a hanger at Sano but he managed to duck just in time. She scowled at him and he laughed.

"I don't need to get 'laid'." Kaoru said, a bit indignantly. "I just need this to be over and done with as soon as possible."

"Why are you going out with this guy if you hate the idea of it so much?" Sano looked puzzled and then his expression looked suspicious. "What're you not telling me?"

"That's something for grown-ups to think about, it's too complicated for a kid like you." Kaoru stuck her nose in the air and proceeded to find something to match her top.

"I'll have you know I'm a good two years older than you are." Sano looked miffed. "Just because I know how to have fun doesn't mean I'm a kid."

Kaoru laughed as she pulled out her slacks. Another safe choice and all she had to do to get ready was to pull her hair up and she would look like a perfectly boring date.

"Don't worry, Sano." Kaoru placated him. "It's nothing I can't handle."

---

Yukishiro Enishi was a stickler for time. The clock had barely chimed 7 when she heard the sound of a knock on her door. Kaoru had just then decided to put on some gloss and was pulling on her shoes as she ran to get the door. Sano watched with a barely concealed grin as she cursed while hopping on one foot, trying to cram her feet inside the strappy heels.

"Coming! Just a minute!"

Kaoru composed herself and opened the door, her stomach twisting and turning inside out at the perfect vision of the man in front of her.

"Kaoru." He seemed to be able to make her name sound like an invitation as well as a tease. His lips quirked into a half-smile as he gave a stiff nod. "Are you ready?"

"Um..., yeah...," Kaoru's voice slightly wavered as she tried to get a grip on her senses. She turned to Sano and looked serious, "Don't bring any girls over and don't mess up my house! Lock up after me!"

Sano was frowning at Enishi but waved her comments away, his face easing just a little.

"Your house will be in one piece when you get back, Jou-chan. You have fun."

"Well then, shall we?" Enishi offered his arm to her.

Kaoru felt somewhat self-conscious as she placed her hand on his arm, allowing herself to be led into a familiar-looking car. As she eased into the soft leather seats, she had a sense of déjà vu when he climbed in after her.

She looked at him, trying to assess the situation.

He caught her staring and smirked.

"It's the same car that I took you home in." Enishi supplied that bit of information.

Kaoru felt a blush rising to her cheeks and instantly covered it with a cough.

"I was just admiring the interior. It's very... uh... cozy." Kaoru finished lamely.

"It should be." There was that smirk again, a teasing glimpse of a half-smile. "I spent a lot of money to make sure it would be."

Kaoru laughed, trying to make herself comfortable. She kept on crossing and uncrossing her legs, avoiding eye-contact with Enishi.

"So..., where are we going for dinner?" Kaoru attempted a conversation.

"That's a surprise." Enishi answered, one finger playfully raised to his lips to indicate secrecy. Kaoru felt her breath hitch in her throat when her attention was focused on his lips. "But you won't be disappointed, don't worry."

The ride to the mysterious destination was pretty much uneventful- Enishi mostly kept quiet, his gaze either on her or on nothing in particular. Kaoru wasn't sure of how to go about the silence so she decided that, for the mean time, she would also keep her mouth shut. If he did anything inappropriate later, then she would definitely have a reason to be vocal.

"We're here." Enishi announced.

When she stepped out of the vehicle and looked up at the tall building in front of her, she felt a strange pang of familiarity come over her. Kaoru looked at Enishi suspiciously.

"Yukishiro-san...," Kaoru started.

"I think we're well acquainted enough for you to call me by my first name." Enishi interrupted, taking her by the hand and leading her inside the building.

A bellhop bowed deeply as they passed. Kaoru felt the same awkward sensations rush over her.

"Enishi," Kaoru yelped as she was unceremoniously pushed inside an elevator, "Enishi! Where are we? This doesn't look like a restaurant!"

"It's not a restaurant." Enishi said stoically, his feet tapping the floor impatiently.

Kaoru frowned and watched as the numbers continued to flash in front of her. Again, she felt as if she was reliving a particular dream of hers...

There was a 'ding' at the 16th floor and the doors to the elevator opened.

Kaoru's eyes bulged and she took several steps back and pressed herself flat against the walls of the elevator.

"This is... this is...," Kaoru stammered, unable to finish her sentence.

"It's my home." Enishi pried her off the walls and practically pulled her out.

"No...," Kaoru fought against his powerful grip, struggling to free herself, "No! This wasn't part of the deal!"

"Kaoru." His tone had taken on an impatient edge, "We're having dinner in my home. You agreed to a date and this is a date. I've already done my part of the bargain, you do yours."

Kaoru glared at him, twisting her arms out of his grip. She suddenly wished she had her bokken in her hands.

"I am not going into your home." Kaoru seethed with anger, she felt incredibly stupid for allowing herself to be blindly led into this trap. "I'm not about to – hey!"

Enishi had snatched her before she could blink, hauling her easily over his shoulder. Kaoru kicked her legs and hit his back, not about to be dragged down without a fight.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Kaoru yelled, thumping her small hands against his back. "Put me down! I did not agree to this!"

"I've had enough of being a gentleman for this evening," Enishi growled, walking purposefully towards his bedroom.

As the lights of the apartment came on, Kaoru had several stabbing flashbacks as she remembered what had transpired more than a year ago. She felt panicked and increased her efforts to climb off of his shoulder.

"Yukishiro-san!" Kaoru screeched, continuing to beat at his back. "Put me down!"

"Just wait a minute." Enishi opened the door to his room and flung her inside, closing the door shut as soon as he had set her down. "There's a dress there that I think would fit you fine. When you're done, you can come join me for dinner outside."

Kaoru glared at the closed door, her perfect ponytail in disarray, tendrils of raven hair covering her eyes. She puffed them away, standing up to dust herself off. She felt particularly miffed, once again feeling as if Enishi had manipulated his way around her to have her in a situation that he knew she would protest against.

Looking around the room, she noticed a satin dress, midnight blue in shade, lying on the bed. Walking over to it, she bit her lip at the luscious look of the fabric. It wasn't anything she could afford in years and she was afraid to touch it- she had a knack for ruining things that were too fine for her taste.

Tentatively, she fingered the fabric and sighed.

'You've got to hand it to him...,' Kaoru thought to herself as she picked up the dress, 'He's got great taste.'

Kaoru realized that he had probably foreseen all her actions and thoughts when he had asked her out. She wondered if there was any winning with this guy. He seemed to have the upper hand in everything.

Kaoru sighed again.

"Might as well get this over with..."

---

It was a good 15 or 20 minutes later that Enishi started to wonder if he was going to have to yank that dress on her himself. He was beginning to get impatient and he didn't particularly enjoy waiting on people. Usually the women were flinging themselves into his arms, and though Kaoru had once acted in the same manner (Enishi smirked to himself at that thought), in her more sober state, she produced more resistance than any force he had ever encountered.

It was a situation he was not used to and he wasn't sure how to handle it.

Drumming his fingers on the table top, he contemplated skipping dinner altogether when he heard the bedroom door click open. Turning slowly, he had to quickly catch himself to make sure he didn't gawk at her.

The dress was a perfect fit, skimming of her curves gently to accentuate her figure, the sweeping neckline showing just a hint of cleavage that made him slightly uncomfortable in his seat. The dress had a slit on the side that ran up to her thighs, displaying an ample amount of creamy skin. She had let her hair down and it was a vision of ebony tresses.

Enishi looked away quickly, signalling to his chef to come out.

She came to his side and stood there silently, apparently waiting for him to acknowledge her. Enishi pushed his chair back and stood up, going over to her chair to pull it out for her. At moments like these, it was better that he focused on civilities instead of how tempting her skin looked in the dim light.

It took several moments to realize that she wasn't moving to sit down.

He looked up at her impatiently.

"Well...?"

Kaoru surprised him when she bowed low, her hair spilling over her shoulders and nearly touching the floor.

"Gomen nasai, Yukishiro-san," her voice sounded deeply apologetic, "I haven't been honouring my part of the bargain well. I know there's no excuse for my behaviour except that I don't do well with shock. Again, gomen nasai!"

Enishi wasn't expecting an apology from her. He had been contemplating many things from her but again, she had managed to surprise him. When she looked up, slowly rising from her bow, Enishi wondered what kind of untapped power she had that could make him lose his footing so.

"There's no harm done." Enishi waved off the apology, gesturing to her chair once more. "You should sit."

Kaoru offered him a small smile and sat herself down. Enishi joined her at their table and thought about whether he should voice the thoughts that were trailing through his mind.

"Um...," Kaoru's voice brought his attention to her face again, "It's a beautiful dress. I was afraid I might damage it by being in it."

She laughed softly, looking slightly exasperated as she smoothed her skirts.

"You look lovely." Enishi decided to just be frank with his thoughts- she seemed to be able to handle his straight-forwardness. "No one else could wear it so well."

He felt as if his words were rewarded by the faint pink blush that rose to her cheeks.

"Well!" She coughed, changing the subject with a bright smile, "Since you've brought me for a private dinner, it should be good!"

"It is." His lips curled into a smile.

---

Kaoru wondered at their rapport. There were moments when she felt completely at ease and then there were times when she wanted to hit him with her plate. The awkward moments were aplenty and she was kept constantly on her toes, only to be coaxed into a comfortable conversation that would turn slightly hostile once in awhile. Which was why she was quite confused; she wasn't able to fully assess whether he was safe or dangerous territory.

"Dinner was great." Kaoru beamed, honestly amazed at how delicious everything was. "I don't know half of the stuff I'd eaten but it was all great."

"That's good." Enishi's lips quirked into his half-smile. "I wouldn't have wanted anything less."

That sorry-excuse-for-a-smile of his really wrecked havoc in her nerves. She didn't like his easy confidence that she would automatically be taken by his sly charm. Kaoru particularly didn't like how she was so close to falling for that same charm.

As that thought flew through her mind her smile froze on her face, making her look like a troubled looking marble statue.

"Well...," Kaoru cleared her throat, "Thank you for dinner. I should probably be getting back now."

"Why are you jumping all around me?" Enishi looked at her with a knowing grin on his face.

Kaoru frowned.

"You obviously know why- why are you bothering to ask?"

"Because you don't seem to know it yourself." Enishi leaned forward slightly, smiling to show his perfect canines. "Calm down, I won't bite."

"I'm sorry to say this but you look like you're going to eat me alive." Kaoru sat back, her eyes still narrowed suspiciously.

"The last time I did, you didn't have any objections." Enishi smiled.

Kaoru rolled her eyes.

"Bringing that up isn't going to unnerve me anymore. You're going to have to find a different tactic."

"Fine." Enishi sat back against his chair, looking utterly relaxed and rested, his knowing smile lingering on his lips. "I like you. A lot."

Kaoru's eyes widened and stared at him, pure unadulterated shock evident in her features.

Enishi looked amused at her reaction and chuckled.

"It seems as if my tactic worked." Enishi's voice was quiet as he sipped the remainder of his drink.

Kaoru mused at his sudden statement. She bit her lip, watching as Enishi continued to stare at her. He was too beautiful to be human, too crooked to be an angel and too tempting to her senses. She felt a sudden urge to have her palms against his skin and feel their inviting warmth.

Cocking her head to one side, Kaoru stood up slowly, keeping eye contact with him as she approached his side of the table. Raising a hand, she placed it gently against his cheek, unconsciously smiling at the childish puzzlement that ran through his face. Bending down so that the tip of her nose touched his, she ran her free hand through his hair, bringing his face up for a kiss.

His lips reminded her of stoked passion, the way they accepted her, drew her for more kisses, tasting of bittersweet memories. His hands guided her onto his lap so that she sat across his lap, caressing her bare arms with knowing intimacy.

Breaking contact with his lips, she breathed a sigh against his cheeks.

"You really are something else."

She heard him chuckle, a deep rumbling sound that made her inside twist and flutter. His fingers played with the straps of her dress, teasing touches onto her shoulder.

Kaoru laughed and reached for his hands, taking them away from her dress.

"And when I let my guard down, you always try to take advantage of me." Kaoru shook her head, trying to look reprimanding but failed when she grinned.

"Really? I thought that you had invited me to." Enishi held her hands, kissing her lips briefly.

"You're not getting any tonight." Kaoru returned the kiss and got off of his lap. "I've got to wake up early tomorrow."

Kaoru walked towards the direction of his bedroom, turning back to flash him a grateful smile.

"It really was a great dinner. Thank you."

---

Enishi watched as Kaoru disappeared behind the doors of his bedroom. He slumped against his seat, wondering why he felt so shaken. It wasn't she who had let her guard down – he had also bared himself in her presence. He twirled the wine glass, watching the light bounce off of its surface before turning his thoughts towards the woman in his bedroom.

'I'm not about to just let that fact go by without something happening.' Enishi grinned toothily, standing abruptly and making towards his room.

Opening the doors easily, he was surprised to find them unlocked. He was also surprised to see Kaoru in a state of half-undress. Her eyes were wide with surprise and he quickly masked his own.

"From the way you left the doors unlocked, one would have thought you were inviting something to happen." Enishi closed the doors and leaned back against them.

Kaoru smiled uncertainly.

"I suppose I thought you wouldn't come in while I was changing." She hesitated before looking at him, "This really had been a great night, Yukishiro-san. Couldn't we leave it that way?"

He pushed himself away from the doors and walked to her, his smile growing at the way she seemed to shrink away.

"The next time you forget to call me by my name, I'll have you on your back and screaming it till it's impossible for you to forget." Enishi pulled Kaoru into his embrace, tilting her face up so that he could read her expressive eyes. "For now, I'll let you off with a warning."

He took his time with his kiss. He didn't know when he would have her in his bedroom, in any state of undress again. He needed to keep his calm and play his cards right. She didn't shy away from his touch but she was tentative in returning his touches. The curve of her breasts swelled over the low cut of her bra and his fingers skimmed over them, itching to undo the clasp in front. Enishi pressed his lips harder against hers when she reflexively pushed her chest into his hands.

"Easy darling," he breathed as he broke off the kiss, "This is only a warning. You've got to get up early tomorrow, right?"

Blurred eyes raised to meet his.

"Huh?"

He wanted to ravish her just then but only allowed himself to laugh forcefully. Cupping her face, he leaned down for another taste of her mouth, his tongue seeking refuge within her. Her arms were entangled around him, her body snug against his in familiarity.

He broke away from her again, holding her at arms length.

"Kami-sama, you have no idea how close I am to taking you to bed right now."

His voice was a low growl and he watched as her eyes wore several emotions, waiting for him to move. Enishi cursed to himself as he released her and turned away, exiting the room.

---

Kaoru finished dressing quickly and saw that he was waiting for her. She wondered at what she should say. A part of her wanted to stay the night, a part of her was yelling to make him work a little bit harder for her.

They stared at each other for the longest time before she realized that he wanted her to say something first.

Kaoru smiled and walked to him, standing on tiptoes to whisper close to his ear.

"Bring me out on a proper date next time. No throwing me over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes."

She kissed him briefly and felt him return her kiss gently, his hand holding her steady against him.

"Thursday then." Enishi smiled.

TBC

---

Part 8: Sweet Oblivion

Notes: That took me long enough! I'm sorry but semester has started and it's been really crazy lately. It took a long time for me to get back to feeling the chemistry between Enishi and Kaoru... huhuhu... Hope those who read this enjoyed it! C&Cs anyone?


	8. Sweet Oblivion

The Stages of Drowning Thyself

Notes: I know it's been a really long time and I apologize for the delay. -bows- Anyways, this chapter is heavy with sexual themes so those who aren't comfortable with it could skip a few parts (a LOT of parts actually - like I said, HEAVY SEXUAL THEMES). Again, C&C's are much appreciated. I really write this for those who reviewed - thank you so much! Now, I've got to go off and think of how to wrap this little story into a nice box with a bow. Enjoy this chapter!

Part 8 : Sweet Oblivion

--

Himura Kenshin contemplated the door.

He had actually been contemplating the door for quite some time now. He had wanted to knock, wanted to call, wanted to do something to make sure that Kaoru was behind that door. He didn't really understand why – he already knew that she was out. She had been out of the house almost every night for the past month.

The thought of her dating again made his stomach turn, as if he had eaten something bad in the morning

Kenshin raised his hand, fingers curled into a fist that almost rapped at her door. He caught a glimpse of himself and shook his head. He felt a little pathetic – pacing his ex-wife's front door, hoping against hope that she wasn't out with another man.

'It's not like she's cheating.' Kenshin berated himself. 'You gave her up. You're not entitled to her anymore.'

That last thought got him feeling depressed. Every day after the divorce he had questioned himself whether he had done the right thing. He had wanted to abandon her totally at first but then realized that he couldn't. He needed to continuously make sure that she was alright.

And she might not be alright since he had not gotten a glimpse of her for almost four weeks now.

Stifling a sigh, Kenshin ran a hand through his hair and as he was about to raise it again to try to knock her door again, he heard the sound of muffled laughter. Reflexes kicking in, he quickly hid himself in the shadows, out of sight but with enough visuals of the people coming in.

His eyes widened when he saw Kaoru running little steps up the stairs, her cheeks flushing and a mischievous grin on her face. Kenshin's temper simmered when he saw a hand snake its way around her small waist and an unknown man appeared beside her. He was wearing a knowing smirk on his face while watching Kaoru's movements.

"I thought I said good-night." Kaoru's voice was a flirtatious laugh as she made her way to her door, the stranger following close behind.

The man whispered something inaudible into her ears and Kenshin cursed when he wasn't able to make out what it was. He was further stunned when the man kissed the nape of her neck, his hands moving from her waist to her breast exploring her body with familiarity that didn't sit well with him.

"Enishi...!" Kaoru gasped, trying to bat his hands away.

The man, Enishi, gave a low chuckle and nipped at her earlobe, turning her to him. He plucked the key that she was holding from her hands and leaned into her.

"You're not avoiding me tonight, love," he kissed her lips briefly, "You've dangled yourself in front of me all night and I'm ravenous."

Kenshin felt himself rage at the sight of this man with Kaoru. He seemed like sleazy criminal who wasn't even worthy to be in the same vicinity as she was.

"Save your appetite for another day." Kaoru tiptoed up to return the kiss, her hand reaching for her keys but Enishi had taken it out of her reach.

Enishi shook his head and lifted her onto him, grinning as he devoured her lips. Kenshin turned away, repulsed at the sight and unsure of what to do. The sound of a lock clicking made him turn back and he noticed that the man had opened Kaoru's door, taking her in with him.

Kenshin cursed to himself again when the door closed, sealing him outside and away from Kaoru.

--

One would think that after kissing a person so many times, one would get used to the feeling.

Kaoru pushed Enishi away briefly, drawing in a large gulp of air. Enishi looked down at her, lifting an eyebrow as if to question why she was pushing him away. Kaoru took his hand, kissing his fingertips, before moving out of his embrace and away from his all-too-sensual warmth.

"Kaoru?"

Kaoru shook her head. Her hormones always acted crazy when she was around him. It was as if she had to physically fight a battle to keep her clothes on when Enishi was nearby. She liked him well enough but in the month that she had known him, she wasn't trusting him any more than she had in the beginning.

A hand placed itself on her shoulder, taking her away from her thoughts and turning her towards aquamarine eyes.

"Kaoru, you're always drifting away." Enishi leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "What could be swimming in your head at this moment, love?"

She felt the flustered butterflies working its havoc inside her at his endearment. She forced a smile and tiptoed to return his kiss.

"It's just a little funny – how I still don't know who you really are...," Kaoru whispered against his lips.

Drawing back a little bit, she saw the consternation cloud his face. Enishi put on a grim smile, sighing heavily as he fixed her with a searching look. His arms were secured around her waist, holding her just close enough so that she could feel him.

Kaoru wasn't sure of the long look he was giving her and she wasn't ready when he leaned forward to taste her lips again. His lips moved slowly against hers, inviting her to respond, his tongue wetting her lips as he continued to kiss her.

Lost in the way time seemed to slow down with every kiss, Kaoru was caught unawares when he suddenly spoke into her ear.

"Ask me the questions you think are still unanswered." His coarse voice reverberated through her senses, punctuating his statement with a kiss on her earlobe.

Kaoru chuckled, ducking away from his lips and giving him a pointed look, trying to be serious but was swept away by the way his eyes smouldered as they caught her gaze.

"I don't think now's the best time for those types of questions..."

Kaoru's breath was caught in her throat when Enishi swooped down on her, his lips moving hungrily from her own lips down to her exposed neck. She found it harder to breathe as his hands pulled her body closer to his, holding onto her tightly as he wrought her senses with little nips on her skin.

"Enishi..." Her voice barely managed to make out his name.

He had led her to her couch and gently but firmly pushed her onto it. He followed suit soon enough, bent over her like a tiger on a prowl. Looking up into his eyes, Kaoru didn't think that he was out for a kill though – there was a soft tint to his eyes that she didn't remember ever seeing before.

"Now's always the best time for answers." Enishi spoke with a slight smile, leaning close to kiss her forehead. "But..."

Kaoru let out a laugh. She shook her head, her hand reaching up to cup the side of his face.

"You and your negotiations. There's always a 'but' in everything."

"I think you'll like this negotiation." Enishi's smile turned sensuous and Kaoru gulped as his hands moved to the front of her shirt.

"...Well?"

His negotiations were always intriguing and she could always say 'no'.

Though she honestly didn't think he'd allow for any other answer but 'yes'.

"I'll answer any question you ask." His flicked a button undone and gave her a devilish grin. "For every question I answer, I get to remove one piece of clothing from you."

Kaoru looked at Enishi as if he was kidding. His hand started to caress the spot of skin exposed by the undone button and Kaoru felt that his proposition was slightly less funny.

"Well?" Enishi's tone was teasing as he continued to caress her.

"Mmm." Kaoru closed her eyes, nodding, enjoying the little touch of his skin against hers.

"Ask away, love." Enishi placed another kiss on her lips which made her smile.

She held onto his face abruptly, holding him steady as she raised herself to kiss him fully. She always enjoyed the taste of him on her lips, in her mouth – he reminded her of exotic places, promises made and promises kept. Secure that he wasn't about to break away from the kiss, she let her hands roam his hair, delighting in its soft texture before reaching down to work its way inside his shirt. There was something incredibly sexy about touching his warm body while he was still clothed.

Relaxed, Kaoru leaned back, resting her head on the armrest.

"What do you want from me?" Kaoru's voice was soft but steady – she had been wondering about this question for quite some time. What could a handsome, successful and incredibly amazing man want from a normal, boring woman like herself.

Enishi looked down on her and gave his infamous half-smile. Many thoughts raced through his mind. He wondered how he was going to word his answer so as not to be a lie but to be as truthful as possible without giving away too much. He contemplated her searching eyes.

"I want...," Enishi hesitated, his eyes fixed on Kaoru's expectant look, "...I want to have a claim over you. I want you to be mine – I've always been a very possessive person."

Kaoru tilted her head to one side, contemplating his answer. She gave a quirky smile,

"You know, on any other person that wouldn't be a very flattering answer. In fact, it would be downright scary."

"Is it enough?"

Kaoru bit her lips, not wanting to, but at the same time, not able to look away from Enishi's gaze. A hint of a smile played on her features as she raised her arms over her head.

Wordlessly, Enishi slid off her shirt in a single fluid movement. They sat in silence for awhile, Kaoru looking up at him while he wondered what would be her next question.

"Ask me a question." Kaoru broke the silence, reaching out to wrap her arms around Enishi's neck. "There must be something you want to know about me."

"I suppose the deal goes both ways?"

"Of course."

Enishi had to smile at her quick response. He did have questions he wanted answered and he really didn't mind having less clothes on his person. Their little bout of flirtation could be rewarding but at the same time, an undesirable answer could turn the atmosphere into something less advantageous. Still, she was keen on playing the game. He didn't want to back down from a challenge.

Adjusting himself to a more comfortable position, he leaned his weight against her.

"How much do you trust me?"

Kaoru's eyes widened for a fraction of a second. This did not go unnoticed by Enishi. He wondered whether she would lie or tell the truth. Either ways, she was an awful liar so he would know the truth immediately.

"I don't think you'll like the answer very much." Kaoru shifted uncomfortably, breaking eye-contact.

"Try me, love."

Kaoru's eyes darted to his for a brief moment before focusing on a far-off corner of her apartment.

"Not a lot. Enough to still be around you but not enough to let you stay."

Again, there was a silence. Kaoru continued to focus on various corners of her home while Enishi's gaze was fixed on Kaoru, though his mind wandered at the revelation. He knew he had not gained her full trust but it disturbed him to hear it so plainly spoken by her.

He took hold of Kaoru's chin and turned her attention towards him. It took awhile but when she had hesitantly returned her gaze to his, Enishi released his hold and took her hands, placing them on the collar of his shirt.

Slightly surprised, Kaoru took her time removing his piece of clothing. She realized she had been holding her breath when she finally released it in one long sigh after throwing Enishi's shirt carelessly onto her floor.

"Are you ready?" Enishi asked, leaning in to kiss the corner of her eye.

Holding onto his shoulders, Kaoru nodded.

"Your turn."

Kaoru was quiet at first, still looking a little bit unsure.

"How long do you intend to stay with me?"

Enishi let out a sigh – Kaoru wasn't sure if it was a relieved sigh or if it was a depressed, heavy sigh. Either or, his answer came quickly enough.

"I don't know, love." Enishi began to unzip her skirt slowly, undoing the clasp at her waist. "I want to say that I'm here for good but I don't want to disappoint you later either. At the moment though, I'm not going anywhere."

Her skirt came off and she curled her legs underneath her. She had done it instinctively and had thought nothing of her actions. When she looked up to Enishi, she saw that he had a knowing, bemused smirk on his face. Kaoru felt a little annoyed at his smirk.

Uncurling her legs, she wrapped one over Enishi's waist and slowly moved herself up and above him. He looked curious but didn't say anything as he was positioned under her, Kaoru sitting on top his abdomen. There was a small trace of a smirk lingering on the corner of his lips and Kaoru leaned in to kiss it away. She held onto his bare shoulders, her lips moving across his as she tasted him slowly, her tongue drawing in his flavour.

Enishi was quite surprised at this turn of events. He rather liked Kaoru taking a lead on kissing – he responded to her exact touches, thinking on how even though her kisses were delectably passionate, there was an innocence to it that made him feel as if though she was kissing someone for the very first time.

"Any questions?" Kaoru murmured against his lips.

He thought about a question for her as her kisses were directed to his shoulders. She was revelling in his bare torso, her fingers tracing outlines against his chest as she placed her lips on his body. Enishi was again surprised when Kaoru suddenly hugged him round his middle, her cheek against his chest.

"I really hate that you're so handsome." Kaoru sighed, sounding bitter and at the same time pleased.

He chuckled and tousled her hair a little bit. Kaoru had a way of lifting his ego in the most pleasing manner.

"Alright darling," Enishi watched as she raised herself so that her chin rested on his stomach, her eyes on his, "A little light conversation. How much do you want tonight to happen?"

She gave a start and her cheeks became adorably pink. Kaoru looked away, resting her cheek against his stomach again. She was still hugging his middle and Enishi couldn't help feeling as if he was a gigantic teddy bear.

Shaking the thought from his mind, he heard a small answer from her.

"It's something I've wanted for a long time – though you might not think so." Kaoru was still avoiding his eyes. "So I guess... I want it quite a lot."

Kaoru felt him move from under her and she felt him gently remove her arms from around him. Turning her gaze back towards Enishi, she watched as he silently undid his trousers. Kaoru helped ease the material off of him and resumed her position on top of him again.

She realized that they were both in their underwear and Enishi had his arms around her waist.

He placed a little force on her, pushing her closer to him. Kaoru braced herself on his shoulders again, giving an inaudible murmur as Enishi kissed her collarbone.

"Questions, love."

Kaoru really couldn't think of questions at the moment. Not when Enishi's hands (big, calloused hands that were oh-so-gentle on her) were caressing her from waist to back. She closed her eyes and thought about all the questions she had wanted to ask him before. All the questions that he had given permission to be asked tonight.

Kaoru leaned forward, her forehead touching Enishi's. She heard a low chuckle escape from his lips, a breath against hers and she gave a start when his hands touched the gentle curves swelling above her bra line.

"Any day now, love." His words were hushed with a trailing of kisses against her collarbone.

Again, she tried to rummage through the fog in her mind for a clear, reasonable question that she had stacked up for all the weeks that she had been going out with Yukishiro Enishi. She felt the fog around her collapse into her lungs as she was jolted back to reality – Enishi had bitten down on her neck then teasingly licked at her wounds.

"Well...," Kaoru stammered, not really focusing on her words, letting them fall out of her mouth in a disorganized mess as she concentrated on Enishi's touches, "How... um... Why did... uh...mm..."

Another chuckle came from Enishi as he fingered the lace of her bra, skimming his fingertips against her skin.

"Damn it, Enishi...," Kaoru's hands clenched into fists against the back of Enishi's neck, "Why do you like to play these games?"

Her question was in a tone of exasperation, almost angry, but Enishi kissed her lips quickly, then her chin, before focusing his lips closer to her breasts. His hands had already found the clasp of her bra as he worded his answer.

"Because you can play so well." Enishi raised a hand to force Kaoru to turn her gaze to him and smiled at the slightly glossy effect her eyes had. "...And it makes things so much more interesting."

Kaoru felt as if though a burden had been lifted off of her as soon as her bra was slipped off. She could feel herself floating in another state of bliss as Enishi's lips closed around her nipple and started to suckle slowly. Clutching at his hair, Kaoru seemed to be working an odd massage on his head as she threw her own head back, glorying in the sensations that rioted through her body. She was purring at his attention, moaning a protest when his mouth left her breast for the briefest of instances. He turned his ministrations on her other nipple, sucking slowly, playing with the tip with his tongue. Kaoru mewled her appreciation, her hands displaying her fraught nerves as they ran from his hair to his neck in restless movements.

With one hand against Kaoru's back to press her gently towards him, Enishi's left hand travelled towards her last remaining piece of clothing, touching her through it. He felt her give a little gasp and he felt his lips curl into a smirk against her breast.

Looking up from where he was proved interesting and immediately satisfying. Kaoru looked lost in her own rapture and she was slowly opening her eyes once she realized that Enishi was not continuing with his activities.

"Enishi?" She managed to breathe out his name.

"You've got one more question, love." Keeping his eyes on her's, Enishi licked her nipple with slow deliberation as his finger ran a line across her clothed bud.

Her eyes fluttered close and then opened again. She shook her head, as if though trying to clear her mind.

"Bedroom?" She managed the single-word question.

Apparently, Kaoru was no longer interested in indulging herself in long talks on Enishi's intentions. She only felt that she had put off tonight too long and her senses were frayed and had gone into overdrive.

Moving out from underneath her, Enishi stood and took Kaoru in his arms. She barely noticed the short walk to her own bedroom and then gave him a look of apology when he placed her onto her own bed.

"It's not as big as your bed."

A chuckle.

"That won't matter, sweet."

There was a slow, almost inaudible sound of Enishi pulling off her panties, and a silent 'thud' as it hit an unknown place on the floor. He climbed onto the single bed and on top of Kaoru. She made a small noise and moved against Enishi. Even when they both kneeling, Kaoru had to crane her neck back a great deal to be able to look at his eyes. In the dark, she wasn't able to decipher whether his look was hungry or patient. Choosing the latter, Kaoru slid down to crouch low against his manhood, gingerly placing it inside her mouth.

She could hear a small grunt, as if though it came from the back of his throat, as she moved her mouth up and down his length. His hands were on her shoulders, holding onto her as she licked and nipped at his skin, swirling her tongue over every inch of skin from tip to base.

It was an abrupt jolt and Kaoru was lying on her back again. Running a hand to wipe her mouth, she watched as Enishi leaned over her, his hand taking hers away and kissing her open-mouthed. Drowning in his kiss, her arms and legs wrapped themselves around him instinctively.

"Love, you are ... so... sweet." He murmured against her ear, his breath tickling her.

She gave a gasp as she felt him thrust inside her in a single movement. After being inactive for a long time, Enishi could feel the difference in her tightness. Her body clutched at him, warming him, delighting his senses in a way he could not remember ever feeling. Enishi bit her ear gently and felt her call his name as his hands ravaged her breasts. He moved within her slowly, excruciating slow as he enjoyed the way her body clung to his length.

The movements became faster and so did her chants of his name. Enishi left her ear and to her breast, playing with her bud with his teeth. Kaoru let out a long moan, her arms flailing to find him.

Kaoru opened her eyes briefly and saw that Enishi was raising himself again. She felt her breaths coming in short, quick huffs, rhythmic with his thrusts. Taking her legs from his waist, he placed them on his shoulders, his eye had caught on hers. Transfixed, she couldn't look away as he held onto her legs, using them to ease his movements. She felt his thrusts becoming deeper, hitting her in places she didn't remember she had, her hips moving involuntarily with his, incoherent words falling from her lips – and all the while, she watched him as he watched her.

The pressure build from within, slowly stoked and then burning into a low but steady fire. Her hands reached for her pillow to brace herself, her nails digging into the soft texture and clamping on tight.

"E..Enishi..." Kaoru's eyes began to flutter.

"Yes love?" His own voice was hoarse and breathy as his thrusts came faster.

"I..." She gave a sharp cry as she felt the pressure rushing in on her rapidly.

Without waiting for her words, Enishi leaned down quickly and ravaged her lips with a searing kiss as his thrusts became wild and erratic. Kaoru felt her release break forth almost simultaneously with his.

His movements slowed, her hips responded to his and Enishi rained her face with gentle kisses and waited for Kaoru to catch her breath.

It was moments later that they untangled themselves from each other's body. They weren't separated for too long as Enishi hugged Kaoru from behind, one hand massaging her breast while the other played with her darling bud below.

Kaoru didn't manage to catch her breath as Enishi's fingers played and teased her, gently at first but then with a clear determination for another release. Kaoru grasped onto his arm, thrusting her chest out as he abused her nipple. She wrapped a leg around his to ease his finger's play on her bud and cried out a strangled 'Enishi!' when he inserted his digits inside of her. His fingers drenched in her juices, he stroked her quickly, noticing that she seemed to be struggling against him.

"Again, love," Enishi whispered in her ear. She gave a devastating cry and he increased the pressure of his digits inside her, "Again, sweet love."

His hand left her breast and wandered to her petals, stroking her rapidly in time with the other digits inside of her. Raising both arms to wrap them around Enishi behind her, Kaoru gasped out his name in that familiar chant, her voice becoming louder as she came closer to the edge. Her body moving with his hands, she shouted his name as she came a second time, juices spilling over his fingers.

It was a long time before Kaoru was able to breathe normally again. She had lain in Enishi's arms all the while. He had continually caressed her arm, whispering terms of endearment into her ear.

"Will you leave in the morning?" Kaoru asked, her mind beginning to function once more.

Enishi chuckled and kissed the side of her face.

"For you, love, I'll take the day off."

Kaoru turned to face him and gave him a quick peck on his lips. She gave him a searching look and smiled tentatively.

"I think I like you more than my reason allows me to."

Enishi contemplated her words for what seemed like forever before he kissed her nose.

"My sentiments exactly."

Another moment of silence.

"So what are we now?" Kaoru asked.

"I'd say we're lovers." Enishi smirked.

Kaoru made a face.

"That's a really old-fashioned term, isn't it? And I don't really like the whole 'boyfriend' 'girlfriend' title."

Enishi looked thoughtful for about a minute.

"I could call you my significant other."

Kaoru raised an eyebrow,

"You find me significant in your life, Enishi?"

Enishi gave her a devastatingly roguish smile and kissed her fully on her lips.

"More than you can ever imagine."

Kaoru gave a small smile, feeling a bit shy of the sudden intimate conversation.

"Significant other it is, then."

--

Maybe it was because he had waited for so long to have her again, maybe because it just felt right to continue, or maybe their hormones had decided to work extra hours that night, but it was a long time later that Kaoru fell into sleep. There was a deeply satisfying look to her smile as she slept on. Enishi smiled to himself just looking at her.

He caught himself smiling and suddenly frowned.

Gazing down at the small woman in his arms, he knew that all his chess pieces were in position to bring forth a checkmate. All that was left now was for him to sacrifice his queen and he would be victorious. He felt a stab of uneasiness and something that was akin to guilt build itself inside him. He ran a hand through her hair, his brows furrowed in deep concentration.

She was so strong ... but at the same time, incredibly vulnerable. He could burn out the fire that he loved to look into when he was with her so easily.

Was this necessary?

Kaoru mumbled incoherently in her sleep and turned towards him. Enishi looked down at her and wondered what type of human he would be to hurt her. Kaoru.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Enishi moved over her form, gently pressuring her to wake up.

'It's necessary...'

Kaoru's eyes opened, her vision blurry as she felt Enishi turn body so that she was on her stomach. She felt a kiss on her shoulder and smiled sleepily.

"Enishi...," her voice was drugged with sleep, "I need rest..."

'There are things bigger than me...'

She felt a hand between her legs and was jolted out of sleep in a most delicious manner.

"'Nishi..."

His heart almost ripped at hearing her speak his name so warmly.

'I've got to face the facts...'

Kaoru let out a small 'Ah!' as she felt him enter her slowly. She rested her head on her pillow, smiling contentedly, not seeing Enishi's grim face behind her.

'I'm not even close to being human.'

He closed his eyes and drowned his guilt in the pleasure of her flesh.

--

Kenshin was awake in his office, there was a dark look in his eyes that made his co-workers quiet their protest of wanting to go home.

"Anything on him?" Kenshin snapped the question, not really caring who answered.

"N-not yet, sir. He seems a bit shady but there are no records of anything wrong yet." A small voice, unknown to him, answered.

"Keep looking." His voice was low as his eyes burned flecks of gold. "There's always something."

"Yes sir."

Kenshin paced his office, looking out of the large windows overlooking the city. He glared out into nothingness – his expression flickered briefly of worry, his eyes turning violet momentarily but then the amber hues flamed again.

It was a gut instinct but he knew he had made a dire mistake.

He should never have left Kaoru.

--

End of Part 8

Part 9: Life


	9. Life

The Stages of Drowning Thyself

Part 9 : Life

Notes: This one was a long one coming. I've had to think over the scenarios several times before I was satisfied with them. Hopefully, you are too. :-) C&C's are always welcomed.

Warning: Mature content. Skip over some parts if you want to, but I didn't remove them coz I felt they were a necessary part of the story.

---

Enishi had a habit of avoiding her about the same time that they decided that they would be 'significant' to each other.

Kaoru had to roll her eyes at the thought – how positively male and presumptuous of him to think that things would have to change. It wasn't that she wanted him around 24/7, she had actually considered him a fine candidate to date specifically because he didn't demand too much of her time. Kaoru had given up plenty of time and attention to her former relationship and she had no plans to throw herself so fully into a new relationship.

Especially with someone like Enishi.

Unfortunately, he didn't think that the times she had asked to 'talk' would be to ease his worried mind. Instead, he continued to find perfectly reasonable excuses not to be around her or ended up engaging her in deliberately mind-boggling sex that skewered all thoughts of 'talk' from Kaoru.

And now she was left to carry her groceries home by herself, mulling over her new sort-of boyfriend/significant other, who was treating her as if he was walking on a minefield.

Kaoru puffed at a strand of hair that managed to block her vision temporarily, losing a little bit of her footing and her bag of groceries as she felt her equilibrium falter.

Before she could even digest the shock of tripping and falling, a hand had steadied her back and another had deftly caught her falling bag of groceries. Slightly unsure of the quick turn of events, Kaoru looked up into flaming red hair and gave a startled cry that made her almost lose her footing again.

"Easy, Kaoru-dono…" Kenshin's familiar soothing voice broke through her thoughts.

Kaoru righted herself immediately – wondering why she couldn't ever appear graceful and dignified around her ex-husband. She seemed to always make herself look the complete idiot around Kenshin.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru pasted a wide smile on her face, rearranging the groceries in her arm. "I haven't seen you around for some time."

Kenshin gave her a wry smile and walked with her to her door.

"I've been trying to see you for awhile now – but you're always out or maybe I missed you because of my own schedule."

"Hmm." Came Kaoru's non-committal answer as she struggled with her key.

With a heave and a 'ho!', Kaoru managed to deposit her bags onto her kitchen counter before turning to find Kenshin looking serenely at her.

"I suppose I should invite you for tea…" Kaoru sounded hesitant.

Kenshin's lips curved into a half smile that looked all-too knowing.

"I suppose I should decline from the tone of your voice."

Kaoru, the ever gracious hostess, looked alarmed.

"I wasn't trying to shoo you off! I just… well…," Kaoru fumbled for words but when her thoughts refused to clear to make a decent coherent sentence, she gave a shrug and continued as if she had finished her sentence. "You should stay for tea. It's long overdue anyways."

"Really, if I make you uncomfortable-,"

"No!" Dear Kami-sama, no, she would never have him think she thought him uncomfortable. "No, you don't make me uncomfortable, Kenshin, of course not. You caught me by surprise, that's all. Now sit. I'll go boil some water."

---

Kenshin watched as Kaoru moved here and there to fix the obligatory pot of tea. She looked a little bit harried, frequently pausing, turning around and then retracing her steps. He wondered what was going through her mind.

Kaoru looked up at him and gave him a small, sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry…, I guess one of the things you don't have to live with any more is my lack of finesse."

Kenshin looked startled and slightly shocked at her words.

"Kaoru-dono, I've never thought of you as lacking in finesse." Kenshin paused and tilted his head to one side, as if considering a thought. "And even so, when some moments come, I think it's completely endearing."

Kaoru's cheeks flushed with a little bit of color. She busied herself again, arranging her tea set on a tray before taking it to him.

"I feel like I'm talking to a stranger now. No – actually, a long-lost acquaintance." Kaoru smiled. "I don't know how to go on making small talk with you."

"Well," Kenshin watched as she deftly poured two cups of tea and motioned for him to help himself to one. "I guess I can ask you how you've been doing."

"Fine, thank you." Kaoru answered primly, paused, and then laughed. "Really, this is horrible!"

Kenshin felt himself give a silly grin.

"Alright, maybe I should ask you something." Kaoru tapped a finger on her chin, as if forcing an idea to appear. "How are you?"

'_Overly obsessed with you.' _Came a strong thought.

Kenshin managed to swallow back the wretched way he had been feeling for the past few weeks to form a few intelligible, more acceptable and slightly less-deranged, words.

"I've been better."

Kaoru pursed her lips and gave him a Look.

She had many Looks. But this one gave him the message 'Stop beating around the bush like I'm a fool. I know you.' A Look that meant that she was privy to every bit of his soul.

He wasn't sure when she had moved but he had noticed slow, restrained blurs before a vision of Kaoru appeared directly in front of him. Tucking an errant lock behind her ear, she reached out – and he wasn't sure why he didn't move (probably because he wanted what was coming) – and held his face in her hands.

"Kenshin…," he wasn't sure what was the meaning behind her carefully guarded tone, "Your eyes have that touch of gold again."

Kenshin jerked out of her gentle touch but she reached out almost immediately and drew his face to her again. She contemplated his face again and he heaved a sigh.

"Your eyes only turn that color when you're feeling extremely … murderous."

Kaoru had a slight idea of the life Kenshin used to lead and knew the dark emotions that came whenever his eyes changed colors.

"What's happened dea- …" Kaoru caught herself just in time, shook her head and repeated her question. " What's happened?"

Kenshin reached up and touched a hand to hers, leaning into the gentle comfort she had always been able to give him – knowingly or unknowingly. He had always wondered how he had been able to have her in his life.

He gave another sigh and felt that he might as well be blunt.

"Actually, Kaoru-dono, I've been meaning to ask about –,"

"Love, would you explain to me what exactly is going on here?"

---

Kaoru snatched her hands away from Kenshin's face and look up, looking incredibly guiltily at Enishi's perfectly stoic face that did not hide the barely repressed rage that was burning through him. Kenshin moved and turned around so she couldn't see the expression on his face when he saw Enishi.

A moment of silence ensued, pregnant with awkwardness and left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"Love?" Enishi's voice came through gritted teeth, his eyes narrowed at Kenshin.

Kaoru rose from her sitting position, untangling her numb legs, forcing herself to move with less agitation and with more naturalness.

What the hell had she been thinking? Getting so close to Kenshin?

Kaoru reached Enishi's side but he barely noticed her presence as he was still giving Kenshin a most scathing look. She braved a look in Kenshin's direction and saw that his eyes were definitely golden now. This wouldn't do.

Whatever that had been there with Kenshin was non-existent, or at least, non-consequential now. She was with Enishi, and she had to show that to all parties present.

Placing a hand on Enishi's hardened fist, she tiptoed up to press a brief but revealing kiss on his lips. His shoulders seemed to lose a bit of its tenseness as she withdrew and threaded her fingers through his. She gently prodded him to lean down to her, reciprocating her kiss with a short one of his own.

She managed a look less flustered as she continued to hold onto Enishi, turning to Kenshin quickly.

"Kenshin, this is Enishi. Enishi, Kenshin."

Both men did nothing to acknowledge each other cordially, instead, they continued to glare suspiciously at each other.

"I think I've mentioned my ex-husband to you before, Enishi." Kaoru kept her tone low, not too eager and not too anxious either. "Kenshin, well, I'm in a … well… Enishi and I are together now."

Kenshin narrowed his brows, his eyes turning into dangerous slits.

As if Kaoru's introduction wasn't clear enough, Enishi added, his voice a low growl,

"She's mine."

Kenshin moved so quickly as if to lunge at Enishi and Enishi also moved as if to attack Kenshin in return. Kaoru swiftly stepped in front of Enishi and mustered a very cheerful voice.

"Well! Kenshin came to have tea and so there's still some untouched over there. Enishi, why don't you sit down and I'll go get another cup for –,"

"She doesn't belong to you." Kenshin snarled, as if he didn't hear her.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru was genuinely shocked at the lethal tone he took.

"She's not yours either." Enishi sneered.

"Enishi!" Really! What was with these two men? Kaoru put her weight into the balls of her feet as she pressed her back into Enishi's front.

"If you even _THINK _of doing anything to Kaoru-dono –,"

"…and what would you do? What _could _you do?" Enishi's voice was taunting against Kenshin's fury.

"Alright, both of you!"

Kaoru stepped forward and Enishi almost lost his footing when she removed her weight from him. She pushed Kenshin out of her door, muttering angrily underneath her breath.

"Kenshin, seeing that this is not going to go anywhere amicably, I'm going to have to _insist _that you leave." Kaoru glared at her former husband. "We can talk later, at a time when both you and Enishi have calmed down. Goodbye."

She closed the door without waiting for his response and locked it.

As soon as she did, she felt Enishi swoop her into his arms, holding her in a crushing grip. Kaoru gave a startled shriek and then gasped as she felt his fingers dig into the flesh of her arms.

"Enishi! Stop that!"

"What were you doing with him?!" Enishi demanded, shaking her slightly, his grip digging deeper. "Why were you touching him like that?! What happened?!"

"Nothing happened!" Kaoru bit her lip. She wondered if Enishi hadn't entered when he did if anything would have happened.

Enishi looked disbelieving.

"I ran into him and invited him for tea. We got to talking and he was troubled and I was asking him about it and…" Kaoru took a deep breath as her tirade of words spilled forth. "Nothing happened! I wouldn't … I wouldn't do anything!"

And she realized that she wouldn't. She couldn't have done anything that was inappropriate should she be in a relationship with him. That wasn't her. She wished he would believe her.

She was suddenly left without breath when he leaned towards her and crushed her lips with his. Kaoru wouldn't even call it a kiss. She clutched at him as he pressed her closer, robbing her breath as he continue to feast on her mouth savagely. She could almost feel her lips bruise at the onslaught of his ferocity.

When at last he allowed her to breathe, he leaned his forehead against hers, his nose pressing against hers, his lips still hovering above her own as she gasped for air.

"I don't share." He pressed his lips against hers again. "You're mine. You're not to touch any other man while you're with me."

"Enishi!" She barely managed his name as he stole away her speech. "Enishi, listen to me!"

She wrenched herself away from his face and used her arms to put distance between them. He still glared at her angrily, untrustingly, as she fixed him with a glare of her own.

"I'm not your property. You don't own me." Kaoru spoke, restraining her anger. "I want to be with you but not when you're acting like this. Stop hurting me!"

The red mist that had clouded his eyes ebbed away and the blue of his eyes cleared. His hands eased the grip on her but he didn't release her. Wisely enough, Enishi kept quiet.

"You don't get to be absent and then suddenly lay claim on me like that." Kaoru narrowed her eyes. "Kenshin is a part of my life, whether you like him or not. Granted, I shouldn't have been so intimate with him but you should also trust me. I'm with you now - I won't be running back to him."

Enishi looked less ferocious and more pensive.

"Enishi…," Kaoru gentled her voice, feeling a bit exhausted. "Enishi? Enishi are you listening?"

He regarded her silently before taking an audible breath and letting it go. He leaned in again and rested his lips on her forehead for a moment before placing a gentle kiss there.

"You said I was absent." Enishi gently coaxed her closer into his arms.

Kaoru rested her face on his shoulder and spoke into the comforting warmth his skin gave off through his shirt.

"I'm not demanding you to hover over me. I'm not asking for more or less. Just you." Kaoru smiled a half-smile. "That's why I agreed to be with you and not some other random person."

"Mmm." Enishi buried his face in her hair, drawing in the scent of her before catching himself in the act.

Why was he breathing in her scent?

"Enishi?"

And another question – why had he lost total self control just a few minutes ago?

"Enishi, are you alright?"

He had felt … felt too much when he had seen her holding onto Kenshin – Why the hell was he feeling anything?!

His thoughts suddenly went blank when Kaoru pressed her lips against his ever so gently, her arms reaching over his shoulder to bring herself up against his body.

Enishi responded to her gentling, holding her delicately, afraid to hurt her more.

She looked up to him and raised her eyebrows.

"Enishi?"

"Mmm?"

"Should we just stop right here?" Kaoru watched as Enishi face become impassive. "I like you a whole lot but I don't think you—,"

"No."

"—'re ready for…," Kaoru stopped. "What?"

"No, I don't want to stop being with you." Enishi frowned. "But if you –,"

"No!" Kaoru exclaimed a little too vehemently. She cleared her throat and tried again. "No, but you don't seem to want to be around—,"

"I was acting stupid."

"Ah." On that, she couldn't disagree.

Enishi gave a slight smirk.

"You could have at least _tried _not to look so happy about that."

"There's that infamous smirk of yours." Kaoru tiptoed again to kiss him. "That's the Enishi I know."

As he enveloped her in another kiss, Enishi realized with a suddenness that he was too caught up with Kaoru. He was feeling too much that he hadn't acted properly. And he had almost lost her and his plans mere moments ago.

No, he wouldn't let himself feel anything for her anymore. He'd have to be more careful and less hasty. He would have to do something soon.

---

Kenshin looked up at the window of Kaoru's apartment, his amber eyes holding a hardened look.

There was something all-too familiar about Enishi. Now that he had seen him face-to-face, he was sure he had met him somewhere before. He just wasn't sure where.

This didn't bode too well.

Hurrying his steps, Kenshin tore his gaze a way from Kaoru's window and focused on getting back to his headquarters. He would need to gather all his resources – and quickly.

He had left Kaoru to avoid these types of trouble. Now it seemed that whether he had stayed or left her, trouble would have always appeared. He had to make sure that nothing would happen to Kaoru.

---

If there was one thing that Yukishiro Enishi prided himself in, it was his work ethics. Or lack thereof. He was incredibly focused, determined and single-minded in all of his goals that he got everything that he wanted. And if he didn't get it, he'd make sure whoever got it would be bribed, threatened or conveniently-made-disappeared into handing it over to him. It was what got him through life and made him the success he was at the moment. He never hesitated, he just plunged ahead and fought his way to the top.

Looking at the sheet of papers in front of him, a telephone receiver hooked between his ear and shoulder, Enishi hesitated.

"Sir? Yukishiro-sama?" A voice crackled through the earpiece. "Are you still there Yukishiro-sama?"

Enishi took in a deep gulp of air, swallowing every nauseating feeling that was threatening to burst, and forced himself to breathe.

"Yes." Enishi nodded to himself, stamping the papers down onto the table with his palm. "Yes, I'm still here."

"Transactions with Kanryuu-sama is confirmed then sir?" The disembodied, crackling female voice enquired, her tone patiently neutral.

"Yes." Enishi closed his eyes – really, why was he feeling so nauseated? He felt like he had just swallowed a slimy, cold, wet, thrashing fish and it was moving inside his belly.

"Very well sir." There was a brief silence where the only thing heard was empty crackle through the receiver. "A meeting to ensure all documents are secured will be made Tuesday, 8 pm. Where shall I inform Kanryuu-sama to meet you sir?"

"I will contact him with further details myself." Enishi managed to keep his voice clipped.

"Very well sir." Sounds of tapping on a keyboard punctuated through the phone before the woman spoke again. "All is done then sir. Supporting documents will be faxed to your company immediately."

"Good." Enishi hung up without thanking the woman or allowing her to formally conclude the business.

He slumped forward onto his table, his face buried in his hands. If onlookers were to pass by his office at that moment, they would've thought that an ancient man was huddled over disparaging documents meant to bring forth certain bankruptcy. His pearlescent white hair glared against the light and his shoulders seemed to be quaking at brief moments.

'It's time…' Enishi chanted inside his head, 'It's time it's time it's time… This is what was meant to happen. It's time…'

A buzz startled him from the reprieve of his hands. Annoyed, he pressed the button to silence it.

"I don't want to be disturbed." Enishi growled into the speaker.

"Sumimasen, Yukishiro-sama, but uh… a Kamiya Kaoru here to see you…"

"Send her in."

Well, it was fitting that she was to witness his moment of agony.

Enishi shook his head and checked his emotions. He forced a smile on his face as the door to his office opened.

It was actually unknown to Enishi but, when Kaoru came in and he was able to see her clearly, a real smile took over his features. His shoulders sagged, as if in relief and he leaned back against his chair, welcoming her with his arms as she promptly sat herself on his lap.

"Afternoon, Enishi." Kaoru gave him a brief kiss and shot him a grin. "I wanted to make amends for my appalling behavior the other day."

"You mean when you were groping your ex-husband while I was away?" Enishi raised an eyebrow, a corner of his lip twitching into a matching grin.

"Mou!" Kaoru bapped his shoulder not-too-lightly.

Enishi faked a wince, rubbing the spot where he had been hit.

"Are you going to beat me into submission?"

"Oh!" Kaoru didn't seem to realize the act on his part and tended to his shoulder. "I'm sorry! I just came from the dojo and I was still in the mode and I didn't realize I—,"

---

Kaoru was pulled into a sudden kiss that stopped her apology. Murmuring pleasantly, Kaoru responded in kind, adjusting herself on Enishi's lap as she closed her eyes to enjoy the sensations of a make-up kiss.

Disentangling herself from his lips, Kaoru brandished a bento box and pushed it onto his table.

"I actually made you lunch." Kaoru laughed at the sudden stony look that temporarily crossed Enishi's face. "Don't worry, I was in a much better state of mind when I cooked it."

He gave her a dubious look but proceeded to open the lid and gave a mumbled thanks at the chopsticks she pushed into his hands. She watched him expectantly as he silently drew her home-cooked meal into his mouth.

Kaoru smiled to herself. She had to give him points for still braving her food after the spectacle she had made the last time for him.

"Oh!" Enishi looked to her, pleasant surprise on his face. "This is good!"

Kaoru bit her lip to keep from laughing. Enishi made quite the picture – talking with a corner of his cheeks bulging from the riceball he had tucked into, his eyes wide with obvious delight at her food. She leaned in to hug him across his middle.

"See? I'm not so hopeless." She gave him a quick peck on his cheek. "You've had a relaxing effect on me these past few weeks … I can concentrate on taste better now."

Enishi gave her a strange stare.

"What?" Kaoru felt herself laugh nervously.

"I really like you." Enishi sounded amazed at the sound of his own voice.

Kaoru blushed, looking away – missing the darkening look that came over Enishi's eyes.

"I really like you also."

---

Enishi turned towards his food again, masking his alarm by eating quickly.

He would have to move up the meeting. Sometime soon. Tomorrow. … Or sooner… He was getting dangerously close to changing his mind about this transaction.

Swallowing a piece of meat that he wasn't quite sure what it was, Enishi looked up to Kaoru and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Kaoru?"

"Yes?" She turned to him, cocking her head in that adorable manner he had started to notice.

"Come to my place tonight." No time to change his mind. He had to do this NOW.

"Why?" She leaned in closer, sounding intrigued.

"It's a surprise, love."

He'll have his revenge by tonight. Before he changed his mind.

---

Kaoru had one of her feelings that night. It started with something that felt like the beginnings of a stomachache. Kaoru brushed the feelings aside as she slipped into one of her best dresses. Something feminine and short and sleek with a hint turquoise.

'To match his eyes.' Came the fleeting thought.

She shook her head and continued brushing her hair, contemplating how best to wear it.

That was when the feeling came again, this time disguised as butterflies in the pit of her stomach. Kaoru frowned, one hand over midriff, her brows scrunched. She rarely had butterflies and when they did, something interesting always happened. Problem was, 'interesting' could be good or bad.

She shrugged the feeling away, thinking that it was just anticipation. Kaoru liked surprises. And the tone in Enishi's voice had suggested she would like this surprise very much.

Kaoru smiled to herself, deciding to braid her hair.

A stronger, more emphatic feeling was working itself through Kaoru's system when she glanced at her clock and realized that she was going to be late. Rushing to find her best black heels, Kaoru's flawless instincts were squashed by wardrobe panic.

---

She was greeted by dim lights coming from the burn of candles, drawn windows and Enishi, clad in his bathrobe. Kaoru felt her heart skip a beat as he silently took her hand in his, a guarded look on his face, bringing her into his apartments.

Taking a look around, she felt the hazy tawny glow warm her senses while a slight chill caught on her skin when Enishi took away her wrap. She turned to him and smiled unsurely when he continued to remove her handbag from her hands. Reaching into it, Enishi pulled out her cellphone, gave her a wry smile and quickly turned it off. He deposited the bag on a nearby table and brought her close.

Again, the chill and warmth swept through her, confusing her senses as she closed her eyes, allowing Enishi to breathe in her scent. His hands brushed against the skin of her bare arms, lightly caressing them as he stood in front and above her. Kaoru felt her breath quicken and reached for him, her hands coming into contact with soft cotton.

His hand slid up her skin, catching slightly against the thin material of her sleeve, his fingers dancing across her throat, tipping her chin up for a kiss. His mouth warmed her, melting her lips against his as they sought to taste each other. Enishi was like molten honey, sweet and burning on her tongue. She pressed closer to him, feeling his hands slide down to her waist, pulling her up and against him firmly. Kaoru continued to taste him, wondering in the silken feel of his mouth against hers, kissing him until she broke away to gasp in air.

It was then that she realized that there was a faint scent in the air. Faint, but heavy – like jasmine in bloom.

Kaoru startled back when his hands sought her breast, kneading her gently. She didn't move very far as his other hand brought her to him again and into another kiss.

With his mouth on hers, gentle yet persuasive in their demands, Enishi spoke,

"Love, do you remember something you said to me… not too long ago?"

Kaoru gave a chuckle, her arms around his neck, pressing closer to his warmth and attentive hand.

"I don't think I can remember much right now…"

"Let me remind you then…," His tone seduction incarnate, Enishi nipped lightly at her earlobe, "You told me that you didn't trust me very much."

Letting out a low moan, Kaoru's breath hitched slightly when he tweaked her nipple through her dress.

"I think I trust you enough at the moment…"

"Well, I don't think that's enough." His other hand roamed her back, sliding to cup her buttocks briefly. "I want you to really trust me."

"Oh Enishi…" Kaoru's eyes firmly shut, she threw her head back as his hand reached under her short dress to further stroke her skin.

"Will you trust me?" He all but whispered in her ear, turning her in his arms, one hand still massaging her breast, the other reaching into the front of her skirt.

She gave a low murmured assent , her hands reaching for his wrists. There was a brief sound of approval from Enishi and his hands removed themselves from her person.

Kaoru's eyes fluttered for a moment before her vision blackened.

Enishi had wrapped black silk across her eyes, blinding her.

"Enishi?" Kaoru sounded a bit anxious.

"It's alright love," his voice hushed her tenseness, his hands coming back to her body once the silk was secured. "Trust me… Let me guide you tonight."

Unsure and flustered, Kaoru was lost on what she was to do, her hands hanging limply at her sides. She leaned back against his frame, allowing him to lead her into their new dance.

Kaoru felt as he unbuttoned her dress at the back, the small buttons hitting her skin in small points as they bared her back. She felt his hands, they felt larger than she last remembered, easing her sleeves off of her shoulder, the dress off of her body. He undressed her with quiet care, holding her close, enveloping her in a sense of security as she was left blindfolded and nude in his embrace.

"Come, love." His voice was ragged.

His hand reached for hers and led her silently across the floors and presumably, to his bedroom. As they walked, she felt him place kisses on various parts of her hand – her wrist, each of her fingers, her palm, the back of her hand… Gentle reminders that he was still attentive towards her.

Kaoru felt herself being placed on his bed, his hands easing her head against plush pillows. She was starting to feel as if she was engaging in a love affair with his hands. They touched and soothed her without words, caressing and smoothing against her skin. She felt his body cover hers slowly, deliberately drawing her attention to his bare calves, stomach and the protruding swell of his passion against her skin.

"Kaoru." He spoke her name softly, laying a kiss against the pulse of her neck.

"Kaoru." His lips moved to the swell of her breasts, tracing her shape, lingering at her cleavage.

"Kaoru." Another kiss, on her belly, his tongue darting into her bellybutton briefly, causing Kaoru to reach for him.

His kisses continued, each one punctuated with her name. She felt as if he had kissed her entire body without coming close to the places that would have brought her relief. Instead, by the end of his lavish attention of kisses, she squirmed with pent up emotions, straining against his oppressive body.

"Enishi…," Her voice pleading, her hands holding onto his waist, thrusting her hips against his imploringly.

She felt his breath against her cheek as he chuckled, the pads of his fingers lightly brushing against the tips of her nipples.

"Patience, love."

Kaoru was about to grip onto his hair when she felt his hands take her wrists, stretching them over her head. Momentarily stunned, she started thrashing nervously when she felt more silk binding her wrists to the edge of the bed.

"Enishi!" This time, there was definite fright in her voice. "Enishi, this is—,"

"Sshh." Enishi placed a kiss against her lips, his hands coming back to her breasts, beginning their insistent massage anew. "Trust me love."

"I don't think--," Kaoru voice tried to insist but was cut off by Enishi's lips firmly on top of hers.

Robbed of speech, Kaoru met his kisses, his mouth bringing in his own flavor onto her skin. His hands continued their pursuit of wrecking havoc on her sensitized breasts, his strong legs keeping her own trapped against the bed. She felt herself trying violently to move against him, to have a release of the swirling desire that was pooling inside her rapidly.

She felt his body move away from her, though his lips continued to keep her mouth occupied. One of his hands pressed against her navel, keeping her in place, as the other gently skimmed against her already moist-slickened bud. He swallowed her sudden cry as he moved his fingers over her bud over and over again without really touching her completely. Struggling against her bonds, darkness overwhelming her, Kaoru's heightened sensations were concentrated on the driving pleasure his fingers were allowing her to feel.

"Enishi…," Kaoru managed to sob into his mouth, "Please…"

He didn't chuckle this time, and she felt herself gasp in both pleasure and surprise when she felt his thumb stroking her petals apart to expose her sensitive flesh.

"Enishi…" She chanted his name, trying to thrust herself into his hands only to be brought back against his mattress.

She felt every inch of her tingle with mounting excitement as he expertly continued to stroke her tightening bud. She had unknowingly spread her legs wide apart, wantonly revealing herself to him as she moved with the rhythm of his stimulating caress. Her lips drew forth his name in pants, her breath coming in quickened gasps as she fought to bring about her climax by his practiced fingers.

---

Enishi watched her with restrained passion as Kaoru's body was overcome with a sweet blush as her juices coated his fingers. He continued watching her, not knowing if he would ever have her so close, so trusting again, waiting until she was nearing her peak before taking her nipple into his mouth, suckling her while thrusting his middle finger inside her. He basked in her unadulterated, unrestrained screams, his thumb coaxing her into climax after climax as his finger drove in and out of her in a pounding rhythm. She had thrust her chest against his face, his name loud on her lips as she enjoyed the last clinging glow of her crest.

He removed himself from her, watching her body become rested against his mattress. Her hands lay limp in her bonds, her face rested on her side. Enishi forced himself to get out of bed, quietly donning his robe, ignoring her small voice calling out to him as he exited the room.

Enishi went to his kitchen, turned the tap on his sink and splashed cold water onto his face. He repeated his ablutions until he felt the sizzle of Kaoru's warmth die out. He stood there, gazing into nothingness over his sink before he heard the soft vibration of a cellphone. His bare feet were silent across the floor as he picked up his phone.

"Yes? … Come up, I'll leave the door unlocked."

It was a few minutes before Kanryuu made his way through Enishi's door. The thin, oily looking man glanced at the regal white tiger in his bathrobe and gave him an oilier smile.

"I hear you've got my purchase in your apartment." Kanryuu spoke without introduction.

"She's in the room." Enishi gave a slight nod towards the doors of his bedroom. "She's bound and ready for your inspection, if you please – unless you would rather I send her to your agents."

Kanryuu pondered over his choices and nodded at Enishi.

"I could make do with just a picture."

Enishi raised an eyebrow, curious that Kanryuu wasn't interested in inspecting his purchase personally.

"It takes a different sort to whet my appetite, Yukishiro-san." Kanryuu's voice dropped low, challenging him to ask more.

Enishi didn't rise to the bait, only shrugged and went to his table by the door. He drew out a candid photo of Kaoru – one that he had come across in her apartment and kissed and cajoled her into giving it to him. Enishi handed it over to Kanryuu.

Kanryuu barely took a look at the photograph, his eyes flicking over it briefly before nodding at Enishi.

"She'll do."

Enishi's eyes narrowed. He felt a storm begin in the cavities of his conscience.

"Really?"

"Mmm." Was Kanryuu's non-committal answer. "Where are the papers? I'd like to get this over and done with quickly."

Enishi moved to his desk, fishing the said documents from a drawer. He held them in his hands for awhile, the fish in his stomach wriggling again.

"How will you deal with her?"

"Umm..," Kanryuu looked particularly bored, his greasy complexion more interested in the papers in his hand than on the girl in his bedroom. "I'll have one of my men take her. She'll be shipped to Thailand or sold to one of our VIPs. Maybe Russia." He looked a bit more thoughtful. "I hear they find her kind of look appealing."

The slime of the fish was working its way up his throat, turning into bile. Enishi squelched down the feeling and gripped onto the papers.

"You're not even going to examine her? You'll just take my word that she's of quality substance?"

"They're all women anyway." Kanryuu shrugged. "A body with a cavity meant for fucking. They're all the same."

Enishi was silent, his eyes had turned to slits and he had all but annihilated the fish in his stomach. All his feelings were ash.

"So?" Kanryuu looked meaningfully at the documents in Enishi's hand. "Are we settled?"

Enishi's gaze was hard on Kanryuu and then flickered briefly at a portrait of a young woman. His face became granite.

"Yes. We are."

---

Kaoru had lain in bed, eyes and arms disabled, for quite some time. It felt like an hour, but she wasn't quite sure. She had given up calling out to Enishi. Had he forgotten about her? Or was he somewhere in the room, enjoying her discomfort? Whatever it was, after the flush of her pleasure had disappeared, she was no longer enjoying the liberty she had given him. More so, her arms were starting to ache and her nude body was getting chilled by the air-conditioning.

Kaoru was adjusting her legs so that she could get herself into a more comfortable position when she heard the door open and close.

Her instinctive feeling came howling, scratching and biting at her all over again. She felt stricken by terror. What had she gotten herself into?

"Enishi?" She called out uncertainly.

The bed creaked with the weight of a person coming onto it. Kaoru froze, her hands fighting against her bonds to free herself. She felt hands on her arms, quieting her movements – cold hands, large hands – were they Enishi's? Kaoru wasn't too sure and started to panic.

"Get off …"

A hand clamped over her mouth and she felt the panic burst into alarm as the person held her in place, quieting her movements and voice. A heavy silence permeated the room, digging into her skin like knives thrown inexpertly at a dartboard.

Kaoru was about to level a blind kick when the hand removed itself from her lips and she felt herself being kissed with raw emotion.

'Enishi…'Kaoru thought with a momentous relief. 'It's Enishi…'

He didn't kiss like Enishi though. His wasn't the practiced, calculated, teasing kisses that were a brand of his personality but it was something raw, careless, and unbridled. Enishi was kissing her as if he had never kissed her before – as if he would never kiss her again.

"Kami-sama Kaoru…" His familiar yet haunted voice whispered her name croakily. "Gods Kaoru…"

"Enishi?" Kaoru barely recognized his grief-laden voice.

She struggled to catch his lips as they pressed kisses on her lips and all over her face. He rested his lips on the edge of her lips, his cheeks resting against hers and it was then that she felt wetness on his face. Kaoru was shocked.

Was he crying?

" Kaoru Kaoru… Kami-sama Kaoru…" He chanted her name again, breathing it over her lips as his hands sought to warm her body. "I need you so badly Kaoru…"

"Enishi?" She called out again. She was relaxing against his touch but she was afraid for him, for the despair she heard in his voice.

Kaoru felt herself hold her breath as she felt the blunt edge of his manhood press against her opening.

"Kaoru…"He pressed a wet kiss on her lips, muttering a strangled apology beneath his breath, "I can't make this good for you…"

The desperation in his tone set her calm, set her ready for him.

"It's always good, Enishi…" she murmured, loud enough so that he heard her.

She felt his hand clutch her and stifled a gasp as she felt him thrust into her. She was unprepared and sore from his rough entrance but Enishi was holding himself still inside her, as if afraid to move. Kaoru wished she could hold him in her arms.

"Kaoru?" There was a plaintive tone in his voice.

Forcing herself to relax, ignoring the stinging sensation that was bringing tears to her eyes, Kaoru kept her voice as gentle and sweet as possible.

"Enishi, please…"

With a grunted moan, Kaoru felt him move slowly inside her. She felt himself push in and out of her in a steady, restrained tempo. She could feel his length growing and pulsating inside her, heard his ragged breathing as he continued to work himself inside her body.

"Kaoru…," her name whispered with anguished torment.

Kaoru lifted her hips to meet his thrusts, raising her face to catch his kiss. Her legs wrapped itself around his waist as she felt her passion stirred anew.

"Enishi… love," she tested the word against her lips and found that she liked it. Her breath was coming in short gasps as she welcomed his movements, "Release me, love?"

She heard a scuffle of movements and felt him reach above her. A few curses and yanks later, her wrists were freed and she wrapped her arms around him, holding Enishi's sweat-drenched body to hers. She managed to work off her blindfold as she continued to hold onto him tightly.

Through heavy-lidded eyes, Kaoru watched as Enishi fought to keep his climax as his thrusts became harder and swifter. He saw her watching him and pushed her gently back against the bed, one hand reaching between them to find the center of her being.

"Come for me first, love." Sincere emotion rasped through his words and eyes. "I want to watch you first."

Kaoru didn't need to be asked. As his fingers found her aching bud, she met his thrusts just as wildly as she came against him, her hands clutching at the pillow supporting her.

A few moments later, Enishi joined in her climax, plunging into her deeply as he filled her.

She lay under him, his weight both comforting and distracting. He stayed inside her, holding her like a lifesaver, his breath tickling her ear. She was about to subtly move away from his weight when he lifted himself off of her, a guarded look coming over his eyes.

Kaoru rolled onto her stomach, relieved to finally be in a different position. Enishi reached for her, his hand smoothing out her hair.

What was to be said in these sort of circumstances?

He came closer and kissed her, the same sweetly unrefined, unpracticed kiss she had felt moments before. When they parted, she watched his turquoise eyes flutter open with something like regret.

"Kaoru, love…," Enishi paused then sighed. "There's something I have to tell you."

---

End of Part 9 : Life

Notes: That's all for now... the next chapter is predictably named:

Part 10: Death


	10. Death

The Stages of Drowning Thyself

Part 10 : Death

Notes: This was definitely one of the hardest chapters to write. I hope it's enjoyed by anyone and everyone who reads it. :-) The end is near~ C&Cs are again, much appreciated.

---

_There weren't many moments of happiness in Himura Kenshin's life. In fact, if he were to put a label on his life thus far, he wouldn't go anywhere near the word 'happy'. He had barely escaped abusive parents, went through years of struggling through orphanages, had continuously mistaken good gestures as indicators of good people – and had paid dearly for his mistakes, and had suffered more deaths to the people he had even an ounce of care for than to the ones who had done him harm. All in all, Kenshin always expected the worse to come his way and was extremely careful to never allow anyone near him. _

_  
Of course, that changed when he met Kamiya Kaoru. _

_  
It wasn't for lack of trying to push her away. Actually, he had tried pushing her away too many times to count. No, Kaoru was stubborn and curious and was just too damned caring to let him go. Kenshin had been attracted to her at once – it was a rarity to meet a woman who was beautiful, strong and with such vivacious energy, he could hardly keep up with her. However, knowing his record with the people who had cared for him or he had cared for personally, he tried to stay away. Dear Kami-sama, how he had tried to stay away._

_  
Kaoru made him happy. He felt contentment that he had never felt before for anyone else or from anything else rise within him whenever he was near her. It was apparent that after being around her for several months, he would lose his battle with keeping her at bay. Because for some strange reason, Kaoru seemed to find joy with him too. _

_  
Kenshin beamed to himself as he thought that to himself. He looked down at Kaoru, sleeping in his arms, and realized that he wanted to be selfish for once and allow himself to share happiness with Kaoru. _

_  
Kaoru had never flinched at his oh-so-obvious scar, never seemed to really notice his scar. She only seemed to see him, Kenshin, as he is. Kaoru had also never asked him about his scar either. Something which he found refreshing as people tended to view him with suspicion and would normally ask within the first hour of meeting him. _

_  
But no, it had been almost seven months into meeting Kaoru and she had never once asked him about it. By Gods, he knew he loved her. And he wanted to marry her. _

_  
Soon. Immediately._

_  
Kenshin sighed, the burden of his past always weighing down on him whenever he thought of marriage to Kaoru. If he wanted her in his life forever – and forever was a long time – then he needed for her to know the most important part of him. Why there was such a scar on his face and why the same scar had been forever etched into his conscience._

_  
Kenshin nudged Kaoru gently, smiling to himself as he watched her awaken._

"_Kenshin?" Her voice was laden with sleep. "What's wrong?"_

"_Kaoru-dono…," Even after months of being together, he couldn't quite call her anything else. He felt too much respect for her. "Kaoru-dono, there's something I've got to tell you."_

_  
Her eyes blinked several times and she pushed herself up into a sitting position. Rubbing the weariness and sleep from her eyes, she gave him a look in which he knew that she knew the gravity of what he was about to tell her._

"_Yes?" She reached out, her hand smoothing its way across his cheek, running her fingers through strands of his hair. "Yes, Kenshin?"  
_

_  
He also sat up, his annoyingly long hair draping him as he leaned in for a brief kiss. He reached out to hold her face in his hands._

"_Kaoru-dono," Kenshin started softly, "I'm in love with you."_

_  
Kaoru's eyes visibly brightened, her smile speaking volumes of delight and surprise as she leaned in to give him a longer, sweeter kiss._

"_I love you too," Kaoru whispered the words across his lips, kissing him again._

_  
Kenshin felt the warm breath of joy seeping through him at her words. It was a feeling he hadn't quite yet become accustomed to – but he enjoyed it immensely nonetheless._

_  
He broke away from her, his smile turning a bit more wary._

"_There's something you need to know about me."_

"_What?" Kaoru's face turned worried, her eyes searching his expression. _

_  
Kenshin took in a deep breath, putting some distance between the two of them, contemplating his next words and the wisdom of sharing his past with her._

"_I've been married before."_

_  
He kept his eyes down and didn't notice the way Kaoru's expression froze._

"_She died." Kenshin took in another breath. "It was my fault."_

_  
---_

Kaoru felt something like déjà vu wash over her as Enishi lowered his eyes, turning away from her.

"Yukishiro Tomoe was my sister." Enishi spoke slowly, drawing out the syllables of her name as if they hurt to be spoken aloud.

A stab of panic and awareness pierced Kaoru's mind.

"I think you also know," Enishi sighed, "…that she had once been married to Himura."

"B-b-but…," Kaoru was still shocked by the revelation. She took a deep breath, calming her thoughts, grasping at her words. "Does… does Kenshin know?"

"Oh," Enishi's voice took on a wry tone, "I'm sure he'll figure it out soon enough."

"Kenshin never told me that she had a brother." Kaoru sounded disbelieving.

Enishi gave a bark of a laugh, the sound was hollow and painful to her ears.

"Yes well, theirs was not a long marriage – as you already know."

Kaoru gathered his sheets around her, making a make-shift cover.

"You're – you're," Kaoru gulped, "You blame Kenshin for her death?"

"Gee, you're quick love," Enishi's sarcasm proved to be another pierce through her senses.

If there had been any warmth in the room, it quickly disappeared with the aloof tone of his voice.

Kaoru wasn't particularly sure how to proceed. When Kenshin had described his short marriage to Tomoe, she had thought that the past was long gone and buried. Apparently, the past had carried on into the present in the form of Yukishiro Enishi and it had stumbled into her life.

Kaoru noticed the word 'stumbled'.

'Had he really 'stumbled' into my life?' Kaoru's thoughts turned to horror.

"If you knew about Kenshin…," Kaoru felt her face drain of blood, " Did you… did you…"

"Yes, I knew who you were the moment I met you." Enishi paused and then fixed her with a cold stare, his eyes void of feeling. "No, I knew you from the instant I saw you. Before you even made your introductions."

A mixture of emotions tumbled through her. There was confusion, of that there were aplenty. There was also grief but she was not sure why it was there. Anger, disappointment and uncertainty swiveled into a big mess that made it difficult for her to breathe properly. Kaoru looked up to Enishi and wasn't sure what she was looking at.

Several moments ago, he was a welcomed sight. A man she had cared for, someone whom she thought she might let herself love.

'Love?' Kaoru's inner thoughts screamed desperately. 'What was I thinking?!'

Kaoru was glued to the bed, unsure of whether to move, run, speak – unsure of how to properly react.

She chose to swallow all her emotions, closing her eyes momentarily.

"What are you trying to tell me, Enishi?" Kaoru's voice sounded hoarser than she had thought.

There was quiet and all she could focus on was the blackness and emptiness behind her closed eyes. She couldn't handle the tumultuous feelings that crashed violently into her every time  
she caught sight of his eyes. It was too much.

"I thought," Enishi paused.

Quiet again.

Kaoru breathed in. Breathed out.

There was a sound of shuffling and she felt his fingers against her bare shoulder. She shuddered and pulled away from his touch.

Enishi looked pained but didn't press forward again.

"I thought I would hurt him." Enishi steeled his voice, keeping a check on his emotions. "I would hurt him by hurting you."

If there was any way to make her eyes shut even more tightly, she would have. She wanted to blot him out. Block out his voice, the sense of his presence, him… She needed to get away.

"No." She wasn't sure when she had spoken, her voice coming out as a whisper. "You wouldn't hurt me. You couldn't…"

Unbeknownst to Kaoru, she had started shaking. Enishi noticed and drew nearer again, not touching her.

"I was going to sell you off." Enishi noticed her shaking becoming more pronounced, "Tonight. Just now – before I came in."

She felt like she would vomit. Things were overflowing inside her, too many things which she couldn't name and they were threatening to spill forth in some way or another. A choking sound ensued as she struggled to keep the contents of her stomach in.

Her eyes opened and Ensihi felt something slice through his gut, ripping him open. There were tears pooled in her eyes and she was struggling to keep them back. She looked… repulsed.

"Kaoru…" He reached out to her.

"No!" Kaoru tried moving away from him.

"Kaoru, I couldn't do it." Enishi ignored her attempts to throw him off and continued to reach for her.

She was screaming words – or maybe they were just sounds of frustration, despair, wrath – she was just screaming and trying to get away from him. Enishi was determined to hold her to him. They both struggled and as she continued screaming, Kaoru realized that she was too tired – her energy had been spent on her emotions and she couldn't even fight him off properly. Throwing out her arms in a last futile attempt to push him away, Kaoru managed a satisfying slap against the side of Enishi's face before he scooped her into his arms, locking her arms and herself in his hold.

"Kaoru," Enishi murmured her name amongst her sobs, "Kaoru, please…, I couldn't do it to you. I couldn't… Kaoru, I couldn't…"

Kaoru shook her head, still sobbing, not realizing she was sobbing, still struggling in his hold.

"Kaoru…," Enishi continued to chant her name in a whisper, burying his face in the crook of her neck, "Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru…"

And they sat that way – Enishi holding her tightly against him, Kaoru attempting to free herself from his hold from time to time. Kaoru's incoherent sobs turned quiet, Enishi still murmuring her name as a prayer. When at last she stilled herself in his arms, Kaoru forced herself to calm down. She focused on no particular corner of the room, taking in all her senses.

His skin was warm against hers, a blanket over her chilled skin.

His breathing was more frantic than hers, her name spilled from his lips in fervor.

She could smell a clean scent, almost like the ocean air, emanating from Enishi.

The faint scent of leather hung inconspicuously from his room.

There was the scent of their recent lovemaking, the haze of confusion clung amidst it.

She noticed his fingers, clutching at her arms, digging into her skin as if she buoyed him to the surface.

She heard his breath, slowing down – but felt the slight tremor in his hold.

Kaoru then felt emptiness, feeling tired and resigned.

"'Nishi." She spoke his name without inflection.

He loosened his grip on her. His face still turned to her neck.

"Kaoru?"

"Let me go." And, probably as an afterthought, "Please."

Enishi released her slowly. Almost as if he was afraid she would disappear if he let her go too soon. He leaned back against his bed, his eyes downcast, his white hair mussed and in  
disarray. Kaoru turned to view him and saw that his limbs appeared broken. They didn't look comfortable in the position they were in, his head hanging as if it were lifeless. He made no move towards her.

Kaoru stood up. A feeling of self-consciousness overwhelmed her at the state of her nudity.

Her eyes roamed for her clothes.

"You're leaving me." Enishi's voice was again dead and hollow, his statement tinged with hurt.

"You can't have thought I would stay." Kaoru managed to say.

"No," Enishi's head moved slightly, his eyes remained away from hers. "No, I never thought you'd stay."

Kaoru felt herself being stabbed by the same piercing hurt as before. She didn't want to leave him. She wanted to stay. Kaoru clenched her hands into fists, her nails digging into her palm.

'Stupid stupid Enishi.' She berated him mentally.

"Why'd you have to do this?" She asked, almost pleading, her voice breaking. "Why tell me about Tomoe-san now?"

Enishi shrugged, his moves careless.

"I had to. Himura would have told you sooner or later."

Kaoru swallowed. She didn't know what else to say. By Gods, she didn't want to leave him. But she knew if she stayed she would be making the wrong choice. One didn't let one's  
boyfriend sell one off and still be with them. Even if they changed their minds. What would it say about him? Kami-sama, what would that say about her?

"He divorced you to protect you from people like me." Enishi spoke monotonously.

Kaoru turned around swiftly, glaring at Enishi.

"What are you trying to say?" Kaoru nearly yelled. "That he's coming back to me now?"

Enishi shrugged.

"You're better off in his protection."

"So you're _pushing_ me to him now?" Kaoru's voice was definitely a yell now.

Enishi shrugged again, this time not saying anything.

"I don't need his protection!" Kaoru stomped her foot, feeling ridiculous but needing to stress her point. "I don't need him!"

What she really wanted to shout out was: 'I need you!'

Kaoru wished Enishi would look at her. She couldn't gauge his feelings when he was looking away.

She found her clothes folded neatly atop one of his chairs. He must have brought it in when … when…

Kaoru couldn't allow herself to finish her thoughts. She hurried through putting them on, needing to be away from Enishi – at the same time, needing him to plead her to stay.

Once done, Kaoru turned to Enishi again and found that he hadn't moved.

"Are you going to come after me again?" Kaoru managed to ask.

"No."

"Are you going to hurt Kenshin?"

"Maybe." Enishi shrugged. "Yes."

Kaoru looked pained.

"Enishi…"

At the desperate, saddened tone of her voice, Enishi looked up. He wished he hadn't. Kaoru was looking at him as if he had broken her heart.

'Don't be ridiculous.' Enishi grimaced. 'You had no effect whatsoever on her heart.'

Kaoru walked briskly to his side, sitting in front of him again.

"Enishi…"

Resting a hand on his face, she tried to memorize him. Why, she didn't know. It seemed she had a penchant for disastrous relationships.

Enishi held her gaze, quirking an eyebrow as if questioning her.

And then she kissed him.

Kaoru tasted him, pressing her lips against his, feeling him responding to her. His hand tentatively touched her yet not daring to come any closer to her.

She hated it.

Hated that she had to leave him. Hated that he wouldn't even try to make her stay.

Why was he just allowing her to leave?

She broke away, touching her forehead to his.

"Stupid, stupid Enishi."

Enishi's lips pulled into a grim half-smile.

"So I've realized."

---

"_It was a long time ago." Kenshin felt the same guilt and devastation cloak him as he brought his past into the present. "We were young, we rushed into it. I was in no shape to be married and neither was she."_

_  
Kaoru remained quiet. Words seemed inappropriate at the moment. She noticed that his violet eyes turned somber, the shade turning almost grey._

"_I tried to make her happy but, you see, she was incapable of smiling." Kenshin's lips turned into a quiver of a smile. "All I ever wanted was her to smile but it seemed like she couldn't. I knew she never smiled even before we were married but I thought –,"_

_  
Kenshin stopped. His smile wavered then turned into a grim line._

" – _I thought I would be the one to change that." Kenshin looked up to Kaoru, wanting her to understand but never hoping she would. Kenshin shrugged, looking away again. "I comforted myself by thinking that maybe I made her happy even when she didn't show it."_

_  
Kaoru saw how he struggled with his words, how he was fighting the shadows as they spilled forth. She felt herself lean towards him, her heart heavy with his grief._

"_But I don't think she was capable of feeling joy." Kenshin didn't seem to notice that Kaoru had leaned into him. "She loved me, I'm sure of that, but her love wasn't anything bright and blissful. It was a melancholy love. There was something that was too dreary in her that she wouldn't let herself feel anything but that sorrow."_

_  
Kaoru's hand gently skimmed over his, threading their fingers together. Kenshin looked at their entwined fingers and she could feel his emotions in the strength of his grip._

"_Still," Kenshin continued through clenched teeth, "I thought I would be enough. I thought our marriage and our love could sustain us, even with her constant sadness."_

_  
Kenshin gave a hollow laugh,_

"_I thought that I could have a marriage without smiles and laughter."_

_  
Kaoru felt her heart constrict. What kind of life had he gone through to accept love in such dire measures? _

"_But I never thought that I made her condition even worse." Kenshin's eyes lowered, his grip loosening its hold. "Tomoe became more withdrawn towards the last few months of our marriage and then there came a point where she stopped speaking to me altogether. A few more months later, she was almost never in the same room as I was and I only saw her when she prepared our meals and when she cleared them away."_

_  
Kenshin closed his eyes._

"_I got upset." Kenshin brought Kaoru's hand to his cheek, leaning into her warmth. "I didn't know how to confront her. I couldn't yell or physically shake her so that she would even try to tolerate me. So I reacted selfishly and steered away from her."_

_  
Kaoru flattened her palm against his skin, her thoughts at a standstill as she witnessed the grief in Kenshin's expression. He turned his face to her palm, almost as if he was shying away._

"_I told myself at the time that I was only trying to give her what she wanted – that she wouldn't want me around anyway. I told myself maybe I was helping her this way." Kenshin paused. "I was lying to myself. I loved her and I couldn't bear seeing how she couldn't tolerate my company. I was only thinking of myself."_

"_Kenshin -," Kaoru felt she should speak up at this point. _

"_And then she killed herself." Kenshin's voice was monotonous. "She didn't prepare lunch one afternoon and I thought she had finally extracted herself from me. I didn't see her for the whole day… and then she didn't prepare dinner. The next morning she didn't prepare breakfast and then lunch… and dinner again…_

"_I thought she had decided to completely remove herself from me. I didn't know…," Kenshin voice was still low and matter-of-fact, but there was a pained look in his face. "Two days had passed by and it was then I noticed that I hadn't heard any movement from her room. When I found her she was lying on her bed, her arms folded over her like she was sleeping. Only she was still. So still._

"_She left without saying anything, without leaving anything." Kenshin paused. "I had nothing to tell her family. I didn't know what to tell them. Her brother even thought I had driven her to suicide."_

_  
Kenshin grimaced._

"_They had to physically restrain her brother. He was crying and screaming and calling me a murderer." Kenshin sighed. "And I couldn't even defend myself. I had always known she had difficulty feeling joy but I didn't try hard enough to make her happy. Or I didn't help her the way I should have. I just… I …_

"_I just knew that even if I hadn't taken her life, I had played a hand in it anyways." Kenshin looked up at Kaoru, his eyes deadened. "I knew that I had caused her death."_

"_Kenshin – "_

_  
Kaoru leaned closer but Kenshin took her hand away from his cheek and held it against her heart. She felt him put the barrier between them as he gave her a leveled look._

"_And that's not the only story I carry with me, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin said, "Death and grief seem to follow me and the people I care most for. I don't know if I can make you happy, I don't know if I can make anyone happy … I'm not sure if I'm capable of truly feeling that myself but…"_

"_Kenshin – "_

"_But Kaoru-dono," Kenshin broke in again, his expression turning earnest. "I need you to know. At least then you'll have a fair idea of what you're getting into. I care for you too much to mislead you. I want only happiness for you – you out of all people deserve it and I don't –"_

_  
Kaoru leaned in and kissed him swiftly, cutting off the rest of his sentence and the rest of his thoughts. She held onto him tightly, loving him with her kiss, trying to wash away his sorrow even momentarily. Kenshin held onto her just as tightly, pulling her to him and clutching her close. She kept her lips on his as she lowered herself back on the bed, pulling him on top of her._

_  
Kaoru's lips left him only briefly – her eyes catching his resolutely. She whispered the next words against his lips._

"_You make me happy, Kenshin."_

_  
---_

Thinking back, Kaoru wondered why Kenshin didn't appear at her doorsteps earlier.

But he did – almost two weeks after Kaoru had left Enishi. He looked grim but there was a small tinge of satisfaction to his grimness that made Kaoru feel cross.

"What?" Kaoru glared at him, not even bothering for politeness.

"I have important news." Kenshin looked a little surprise at her glare.

"If it's about Enishi then you're two weeks too late." Kaoru narrowed her brows at him, not feeling like prolonging the conversation.

Kenshin looked a little perturbed.

"Did he – He told you - ?"

"He told me that he's Tomoe-san's brother." Kaoru nodded once, tapping her foot impatiently. "So you see, there's no more news that you could possibly tell me."

"Kaoru – "

"I have things to do Kenshin," Kaoru said firmly, "I hope you won't find me rude if I ask you to leave right now."

Kenshin did seem to think that she was being rude but he was also too surprised to do anything but nod along.

"Good." Kaoru nodded also, still looking cross. "Take care, Kenshin."

She closed the door without any more words and Kenshin found himself staring at her door once more.

---

Enishi had never overindulged in anything. One should notice that the previous sentence denotes a past quality. Enishi had always maintained cool, composure and had strictly disciplined himself to apply his stress onto work. He had never had too much to drink on the basis that it blurred his senses and he preferred to be on point at all times. He had always been extremely particular about the women he chose to allow into his bed (or theirs) as he was extremely paranoid (cautious, in his own words) and took the sexual act as merely a regular exercise in which he needed to exert himself in from time to time. He had never done anything on any scale of extreme (with the one exception being his quest for revenge for his sister, but that was another matter entirely) and felt that it reflected the degree of control he had on his life and others around him.

Well, one Kamiya Kaoru placed everything into perspective.

He wasn't sure when he picked up his first drink. He wasn't sure when he picked up his next drink. He wasn't sure whose bed he had slept on the night Kaoru had left him. And he was definitely unsure of how long time had passed when he next regained consciousness. All he knew of, once adjusting his blurred vision and taking in his surrounding, was that he needed more of forgetfulness, more of drinks, more of comforting himself with more women, and more of putting away Kaoru's face and memory from his mind.

He would wake up to find himself in the cushion of a woman's softness. He would blink several times, delaying from taking a closer look at her face. But when he did, he felt the same nausea arise every time it was confirmed that the woman was not Kaoru. He would get up, find more drink and dulled his senses and memories away. During those moments where he was without his rational mind, he obtained more women, somehow managed to find his way into them and woke up to repeat the process all over again.

All in all, he was a mess after a month had gone by. Or maybe it was two.

He wasn't at a state where he needed to know exactly how much time had elapsed from the last day he had been sober and possessed a semblance of a logical mind.

Enishi was nursing an annoying headache (a trifle word for something that felt like a pounding on hell's walls) and was even more uncivilized than usual to the unfortunate people who graced his office that particular day.

'She didn't even say goodbye.' Enishi harrumphed to himself. Oddly annoyed by this small matter.

'After what you did, she didn't owe one to you.' Enishi continued his thoughts to himself. 'But you'd think that she was the type of person to end things with a 'goodbye'.'

Enishi paused in his train of thoughts, swiveling his chair so that he looked out into the view of his glass windows. The sunlight hurt his eyes and that in turn, made his headache worse. He turned away from the light and looked to nowhere in particular. His vision was flooded with the memory of his last night with Kaoru.

'She should say goodbye.' Enishi suddenly thought to himself, pushing himself away from his chair. 'I'm gonna make her end it properly.'

Enishi wondered if he should think out his sudden thoughts more carefully.

He paused next to his desk.

'It's not as if it could get any worse.' Enishi thought to himself grimly.

And with that, Enishi went out in search of Kaoru, telling himself that he needed an official rejection instead of an informal one.

---

Unbeknownst to Enishi, Kenshin had the same idea of approaching Kaoru on that same day. Kenshin felt that though Kaoru might not want to speak with him, he wanted to speak with her. Some things needed to be said and he wouldn't budge until she eventually gave in. Knowing Kaoru (which he did, having once been married to her and privy to her most private thoughts), she would understand the necessity of his actions as soon as she saw him.

Kenshin looked absolutely determined as he approached the Kamiya Kasshin Dojo, watching as his former love and wife (former wife, Kenshin corrected himself mentally, – he still held her as the love of his life) finished up classes for the day. Children of various ages stumbled out of her doors, breathless and still vibrating with the energy of their class. Kenshin waited until they had all emptied out before making his entrance.

Kaoru looked up, her blue eyes flashing as if she was expecting an intruder. Once she saw that it was him, Kenshin saw her eyes grow tired.

"Go away Kenshin." Kaoru murmured loud enough for him to hear.

Without waiting for a response from him, she went about the business of closing the dojo.

Kenshin was again stunned that she had turned him out point blank, not even bothering to look at him as she did it.

Brushing the surprise aside, Kenshin steeled himself to continue as he had planned.

"Kaoru-dono, we need to talk." Kenshin spoke in his most placating tone.

"No," Kaoru's voice was still monotonous, "We do not. And don't take that tone with me."

Kenshin was taken aback.

"What tone? I was being absolutely civil."

"That's exactly it." Kaoru murmured under her breath. "You take that tone when you think I'm being unreasonable."

"But Kaoru-dono –"

"Kenshin." Kaoru stopped in the middle of an action, spinning about to narrow her eyes at him. "Why are you here?"

"I told you." Kenshin felt confused. The conversation was not going as he had planned. "We need to talk."

"Yes." Kaoru tapped her foot. "Why are you here to talk?"

"There are things we need to settle." Kenshin wasn't sure where Kaoru intended the conversation to go.

"Kenshin." Kaoru sighed. "Kenshin, what are you hoping to achieve by settling things with me?"

Kaoru had again stunned him into speechlessness. Kenshin was unsure of how he was supposed to answer the question.

"Well, I had hoped to have things back to the way they were, I suppose." Kenshin spoke his words slowly, drawing them out as if he was continuously thinking his thoughts out loud.

Kaoru ran a hand through her sweat-drenched forelocks. She took a deep breath as she undid her ponytail, shook out her hair, re-gathered them in her hands and tied it back into a neat ponytail. Kenshin waited through her silent movements, wondering what she would say next.

"Kenshin," Kaoru's voice sounded pained, "Kenshin, we're divorced."

Kenshin felt the words like a blow to his gut. He managed to keep his face straight and pleasant as he cocked his head to one side.

"I know, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin's voice was expertly smooth.

"When I ceased to be your wife," Kaoru inhaled deeply before releasing a 'whoosh' of air, "You ceased to need to put things back in order. I'm supposed to do that by myself now."

"But we're friends." Kenshin maintained his casual tone. "I had acted horribly the last time – when I had met Enishi, that last time I saw you. As a friend, I need to put things right."

Kaoru was quiet for a moment. She gave him a long stare, searching his eyes for something. Kenshin felt his heart drum rapidly, forcing himself to appear blank and impassive. He didn't need her to know what he was thinking about.

"Kenshin, this may sound awfully conceited of me but," Kaoru paused, still keeping her eyes locked with his, "I'm not getting back together with you."

If she had had a knife, it would have been in his heart right about now. The words were not just a stab but a cut, slicing whatever was left of his heart into tiny indiscernible pieces. Kenshin wondered if he would ever recover from the brutal blow.

"What?" He barely managed to get the word out.

"What?" He tried again, his voice sounding no better this time around.

"I'm not getting back together with you." Kaoru's voice was less soft, sterner now. "If you want to be friends, you have to know that. I'm never going to feel the same about you as I had before."

Kenshin didn't even bother to negate her statement. He knew he would be lying if he denied not hoping for a chance with her again. He had hidden the thought within himself, convincing himself that there was no harm in being close to her when he knew the opposite to be true.

Kaoru took a deep breath and continued.

"If we're going to be friends, I don't think I can see you for awhile."

"What?" Apparently, that would be the only word he would be able to produce today.

"I think that if we're really ever going to be just friends and nothing more, you need to stop seeing me." Kaoru gave him a deeply apologetic look. "I don't think you see me as 'just a friend' right now. And until you can honestly look at me and know you feel nothing romantically for me, I don't think we'll ever be friends."

Kenshin was dumbfounded. A life without Kaoru was unfathomable to him. It felt as if she was telling him to make the grass become purple and rabbits to start spouting haiku.

"But Kaoru –," he managed to croak out.

"You need to let me go, Kenshin." Kaoru's voice was pleading. "I can't have you hovering over me like a jealous husband. I'm not your wife. I've stopped being your wife for quite some  
time now."

Kenshin closed his eyes, turning his head away from Kaoru. He couldn't look at her at the moment. Knowing that he would have to leave her, this time taking himself physically away from her, made him feel slightly suicidal. He wondered if this was the feeling that had constantly plagued Tomoe when she was alive. If it was, he understood all too well why she felt she needed to put a permanent end to her life.

He wondered if he would be able to be braver.

"And don't you dare think of following in Tomoe's footsteps." Kaoru frowned, as if sensing his thoughts.

Kenshin opened his eyes abruptly, noticing the cross look in her eyes.

"Look what good her actions brought on us. Look at how it affected Enishi."

At Enishi's name, Kenshin saw her expression soften briefly.

"You'll find happiness, Kenshin." Kaoru spoke softly. "It'll be with something new, something different this time. It just won't be with me."

---

'I don't love you anymore.' Kaoru thought to herself sadly, watching Kenshin depart from her dojo. 'At least, not the way you want me to.'

There were no teary good-byes this time. Kenshin was not the sort. But even without the great show of emotions, she knew she had hurt him deeply. Unfortunately, Kaoru knew that it was something she had to do.

Kaoru looked around her dojo and heaved a great sigh. She couldn't let Kenshin continue to dog her moves, acting as if they were still married when he was the one to have broken things off. She had had plenty of time to think about her ongoing relationship with Kenshin and knew that he would have continued to keep his feelings for her if she had not done something about it.

And anyways…

Kaoru watched as the last wisp of red hair disappeared from view.

… her heart was already with another person.

---

It was a testament to how the fates were now turning on him that Enishi stumbled upon Kenshin in the streets.

He had initially gone to Kaoru's apartment and had discovered that she was not in. Thinking that it was a sign from above intervening on his behalf, Enishi had felt the same annoyance which had plagued him throughout the day. Not being the type of a person to give up easily, Enishi went on a search for Kaoru's dojo. If he didn't find her there, then he would go to that Akabeko restaurant of hers.

He would find Kaoru and demand finality.

Even in Enishi's mind, the sentence didn't sound right but he was stubborn and unyielding and he went on in search of Kaoru.

Along the way, Enishi felt his simmering annoyance turn black when he caught sight of the familiar figure of Himura Kenshin. The urge to drive a sharp object into the man's eyes was very strong and Enishi had to physically fight himself not to reach for the small penknife he carried around with him. He stopped in his tracks and mentally prepared himself for the confrontation with Kenshin.

This was the man whom his revenge was targeted at.

This man was the reason that he couldn't be with Kaoru.

Enishi's brows furrowed deep as he scowled at the approaching Kenshin.

When the small, red-haired man finally raised his features and noticed his presence though, Enishi felt the anger ebb away into curiousity. There was a haunted look barely concealed by Kenshin's eyes.

"Himura." He called out the name, his voice neutral.

Kenshin didn't seem at all perturbed at seeing him in the middle of the street.

"Yukishiro Enishi." Kenshin sighed. "It was a wonder I didn't recognize you from your name."

"Apparently my sister didn't hold much importance for you." Enishi felt fury igniting itself within him.

"Your sister had irrevocably changed my life, Yukishiro. But that wasn't why I didn't recognize you." Kenshin's hollowed eyes were on Enishi but they did not seem to see him. "I heard news that you were dead. That and you look nothing like the boy I knew."

"I'm hardly a boy now, Himura." Enishi bit out, though with less venom than he had originally thought he had.

"No, you're not." Kenshin sounded tired.

"You have no idea --," Enishi broke off, shaking his head. He wouldn't let emotions color his speech with him. "You know of my situation with Kaoru?"

He had intentionally used her name in an intimate manner to spite Kenshin. It seemed to work momentarily – his eyes focused perceptibly before becoming withdrawn again. Kenshin appeared to be nothing more than a shell in front of Enishi.

"Kaoru…," Kenshin whispered her name.

Enishi fought the urge to slit the man's tongue for speaking Kaoru's name. It didn't escape his notice that Kenshin didn't add the customary address he usually used with her name.

"I'm leaving her." Kenshin said, his voice deadened.

"What?" Enishi snapped from his violent thoughts. "What?!"

Kenshin gave a wry smile – it looked as if it hurt him to lift his lips to manage that small movement.

"Well, I suppose the correct way to say it is that she made me leave her."

Enishi wasn't sure on how to respond. The first emotion he felt at this pronouncement was incredible relief. The second was apprehensiveness at the lack of emotion being displayed by Kenshin.

Kenshin looked up to Enishi, a hardened look on his face.

"I'm leaving Tokyo." Kenshin said. "I'm leaving for her sake, to see if there is some truth to what she had told me."

Kenshin paused, and then turned his glare on Enishi full-force. His eyes held amber flints as he considered his words then turned golden as he spoke,

"But if I hear of any trouble regarding Kaoru-dono, I will definitely come back."

Enishi wasn't sure of how to respond as Kenshin stepped away from him, almost as if they hadn't been speaking to each other in the first place. He kept his head down and walked away, a shadow looming over him as he left without another word.

It was then that Enishi understood what his eyes couldn't translate for him for the past few minutes he'd been talking to Kenshin.

He needn't go after Kenshin anymore.

Whatever hurt he would have inflicted on him would never be anywhere close to the one Kaoru had just meted out.

Enishi's eyes widened as he stared dumbly into nothingness.

It had been almost twenty years that he had moved, breathed, lived for the moment of exacting revenge and justice over his sister's death. Every step he had taken was towards bringing him closer to fulfilling his goals. He had always envisioned the end results. He had always known he would be victorious. It never occurred to him that the pawn he had wanted to use against Kenshin had turned around and done the deed for him (though he was sure that Kaoru had no idea the extent of damages her actions had on Kenshin).

He wasn't quite sure of whether to be insanely pleased or maddened by this turn of events.

After pondering this, turning a blind eye to disgruntled passersby who had to skirt around him as he stood in the middle of a crowded street, Enishi could feel only emptiness.

There was no feeling.

Enishi eyed the dojo – only a block away from where he was standing.

He contemplated.

And then he turned around and left.

---

End of Part 10: Death


End file.
